4 Critical Warning Signs to Watch For When You’re In Bed With Your Older Man

Critical Warning SignsIt’s cer­tainly impor­tant that you and your older man spend qual­ity time together in order for your May-December romance to grow and flour­ish, but it doesn’t end when you call it a night. Many stud­ies have shown that what hap­pens under the cov­ers is equally important—and we’re not just talk­ing about sex. Every­thing from your sleep­ing posi­tions to what hap­pens imme­di­ately after sex can actu­ally have a sig­nif­i­cant impact on your May-December romance. Here are a few things to keep in mind once the lights go out.

• Sleep Dis­tance: How far apart you and your older man sleep may be an indi­ca­tor of how sat­is­fied you are with your May-December romance. Accord­ing to a recent sci­en­tific study, cou­ples who sleep closer together (less than one inch apart) are much more likely to be happy com­pared to cou­ples who sleep far­ther than 30 inches apart.

• Power of Touch: The same study above that looked at sleep dis­tance also revealed inter­est­ing find­ings about how touch can impact your May-December romance. Over­all, touch­ing while sleep­ing dras­ti­cally improved rela­tion­ship sat­is­fac­tion, regard­less of sleep posi­tion (back to back, fac­ing each other, or fac­ing the same direc­tion.) A whop­ping 94% of cou­ples who made phys­i­cal con­tent dur­ing sleep reported feel­ing happy with their rela­tion­ship, com­pared to only 68% who didn’t touch in the mid­dle of the night. Cou­ples who slept face-to-face while touch­ing were found to be most sat­is­fied with their rela­tion­ships. Keep in mind this is when you first fall asleep—so it’s OK if you end up mov­ing apart through­out the night.

• Snug­gling after Sex: A 2013 study pub­lished in the Archives of Sex­ual Behav­ior showed that cou­ples who were affec­tion­ate after sex, includ­ing cud­dling, kiss­ing, spoon­ing, or express­ing love for one another, felt more sex­u­ally sat­is­fied. This can in turn result in feel­ing increas­ingly sat­is­fied with your May-December romance over­all. In other words, more post-coital affec­tion means a hap­pier rela­tion­ship. As one of the co-authors of the study said, cou­ples should “be aware that the period after sex could be par­tic­u­larly impor­tant for bond­ing.” So if you really want your May-December romance to last, stay in bed a lit­tle longer.

• In-Sync Bed Times: Hav­ing sim­i­lar sleep sched­ules can affect how sat­is­fied you are with your May-December romance, accord­ing to a 2010 study pub­lished in the aca­d­e­mic jour­nal Psy­cho­so­matic Med­i­cine. Researchers dis­cov­ered that when the women went to bed at a dif­fer­ent time than their part­ner, they reported feel­ing less sat­is­fied with their rela­tion­ship after­ward. Accord­ing to one of the study’s authors, women tend to link rela­tion­ship func­tion­ing with sleep because they’re “more sen­si­tive to the highs and lows of relationships.”


Bern­stein, E., “Cou­ples of Dif­fer­ent Sleep Sched­ules Can Expect Conflict—and Adapt,” The Wall Street Jour­nal web site, Sep­tem­ber 9, 2014; http://goo.gl/u8f2EF.

Heid, M., “How Your Sleep Style Affects Your Rela­tion­ship,” Shape web site, Decem­ber 8, 2014; http://goo.gl/3trzYi.

Mori­arty, K., “Sci­ence Proves Cud­dling After Sex is Cru­cial,” Women’s Health web site, April 30, 2014; http://goo.gl/a6xJTL. 

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About Isabella

I was never patriotic, so when Independence Day came, the last thing on my mind was to go out and celebrate. I was bored and I was lonely, and though they weren’t my normal crowd, thesse girls were friends and family members who I grew up with. But Diana had her man, Marsha had hers, and my cousin Lisa had her own. I was the only one who was single and my taste was just too high; the kind of men they dated did not appeal to me. I wanted the executive, the entrepreneur. I was 22 and unhappy about my life. I yearned to be in a relationship; I felt I had so much to give a man, and yet I was single. My friends and I waited for cab and I was still second-guessing whether or not I really wanted to go out. While we were waiting, an older looking gentleman driving a blue pick-up truck drove up to us. As he slowed, he said, “Don’t move. I’m coming right back!” He drove off, leaving a trail of his cologne, as he sped away to drop off the construction workers sitting in the back of the truck. Literally moments later, he came back, stopped in front of us, asked us where we were going, and told us to get in. It turns out his name was Keith. After Keith dropped us off, I realized I didn’t want to stay and asked him to take me back to where he picked us up from. He turned, looked at me, and said, “You were the reason why I picked you all up. I wanted to get to know you. So, I’m happy you decided to leave with me.”