Sometimes in relationships with older men, we tend to become dependant and want to spend every waking hour with him. This can be difficult, especially if he works a lot, or even worse, he’s married to someone else. But it’s important to maintain your independence and not rely on him completely. Some level of space between the two of you is actually healthy for your relationship—distance makes the heart grow fonder, remember?
You also want your sugar daddy to know that you can be happy on your own and take care of yourself. One great perk of dating an older man, especially one who is rich and powerful, is him being able to help you out when you want a little extra spending money, or spoiling you with expensive gifts. But it’s always nicer when he does these kinds of things for you because he wants to, not because he feels like he needs to.
If you’re a younger woman dating an older man, it’s important to maintain your independence in a number of different ways. And these aren’t just for your happiness, but for your safety and well-being.
Home and Car
First things first, if your older man is helping to pay your rent or is giving you a place to stay, make sure your name is on the lease or the title. There is nothing worse than fighting or being in the middle of a breakup and realizing that your older man has the legal power to have you evicted at the drop of a hat, leaving you with no place to go.
The same thing goes for your car. If he is leasing it for you or making the payments, you have no claim to the vehicle unless your name is on the paperwork. That means if someone were to come to repossess the car due to non-payment, or if he reports it stolen, you will have no claim to the vehicle and can be held responsible.
It’s fine if your sugar daddy wants to spend his money on you—that’s the advantage of dating a rich, older man—but you need to be smart about how much control you have over the assets, and over him. That being said, your home and car aren’t the only things you need to take control of if you’re dating a rich, older man.
I’ve heard of a lot of women using a cell phone that was provided by their sugar daddy. This may seem like a good idea at the time—he can get a hold of you whenever he needs you—but if he is providing you with a cell phone and paying the bill, he has access to all of the numbers you are calling and texting, which can make for a precarious situation if you are also dating other men. It can also cause problems if your sugar daddy tends to get jealous or possessive.
If your sugar daddy controls your cell phone, that means he can also call the carrier company at any time and cancel the line whenever he wants to. Maintain your own cell phone plan, or get a cell phone with prepaid minutes that he can pay for should he feel the need to do so.
If you frequently use Skype, e-mail, or online messaging boards to connect with your sugar daddy, always make sure that you’re not using a work e-mail account or a computer that other people can access. The last thing you want is your boss, or a snooping spouse, to see an x-rated message that was never intended for their eyes. Not only is it embarrassing, but it can get you into a lot of trouble.
I know it sounds like a given, but it’s also extremely important that you continue to maintain your own bank account. If your rich older man wants to give you money to pay a bill or to send you on a shopping spree, ask him for cash. I’ve heard horror stories from women who accepted a large check from their sugar daddy, who then put a stop-payment note on it or claimed fraud on a check after something went sour in the relationship.
Nothing is ever a guarantee in a relationship, especially in a May-December relationship, so it’s always best to play it safe and put your well-being first—you never know what could happen between you and your sugar daddy tomorrow.
Never let your older man take total control of your life. Besides, keeping your independence goes to show that you can do with or without your sugar daddy. He should be the one needing you, and not the other way around.