4 Foolproof Ways to Make Sure You’re Never the Desperate One in the Relationship

Some­times in rela­tion­ships with older men, we tend to become depen­dant and want to spend every wak­ing hour with him. This can be dif­fi­cult, espe­cially if he works a lot, or even worse, he’s mar­ried to some­one else. But it’s impor­tant to main­tain your inde­pen­dence and not rely on him com­pletely. Some level of space between the two of you is actu­ally healthy for your relationship—distance makes the heart grow fonder, remember?

You also want your sugar daddy to know that you can be happy on your own and take care of your­self. One great perk of dat­ing an older man, espe­cially one who is rich and pow­er­ful, is him being able to help you out when you want a lit­tle extra spend­ing money, or spoil­ing you with expen­sive gifts. But it’s always nicer when he does these kinds of things for you because he wants to, not because he feels like he needs to.

If you’re a younger woman dat­ing an older man, it’s impor­tant to main­tain your inde­pen­dence in a num­ber of dif­fer­ent ways. And these aren’t just for your hap­pi­ness, but for your safety and well-being.

Home and Car

First things first, if your older man is help­ing to pay your rent or is giv­ing you a place to stay, make sure your name is on the lease or the title. There is noth­ing worse than fight­ing or being in the mid­dle of a breakup and real­iz­ing that your older man has the legal power to have you evicted at the drop of a hat, leav­ing you with no place to go.

The same thing goes for your car. If he is leas­ing it for you or mak­ing the pay­ments, you have no claim to the vehi­cle unless your name is on the paper­work. That means if some­one were to come to repos­sess the car due to non-payment, or if he reports it stolen, you will have no claim to the vehi­cle and can be held responsible.

It’s fine if your sugar daddy wants to spend his money on you—that’s the advan­tage of dat­ing a rich, older man—but you need to be smart about how much con­trol you have over the assets, and over him. That being said, your home and car aren’t the only things you need to take con­trol of if you’re dat­ing a rich, older man.

Cell Phone

I’ve heard of a lot of women using a cell phone that was pro­vided by their sugar daddy. This may seem like a good idea at the time—he can get a hold of you when­ever he needs you—but if he is pro­vid­ing you with a cell phone and pay­ing the bill, he has access to all of the num­bers you are call­ing and tex­ting, which can make for a pre­car­i­ous sit­u­a­tion if you are also dat­ing other men. It can also cause prob­lems if your sugar daddy tends to get jeal­ous or possessive.

If your sugar daddy con­trols your cell phone, that means he can also call the car­rier com­pany at any time and can­cel the line when­ever he wants to. Main­tain your own cell phone plan, or get a cell phone with pre­paid min­utes that he can pay for should he feel the need to do so.

Online

If you fre­quently use Skype, e-mail, or online mes­sag­ing boards to con­nect with your sugar daddy, always make sure that you’re not using a work e-mail account or a com­puter that other peo­ple can access. The last thing you want is your boss, or a snoop­ing spouse, to see an x-rated mes­sage that was never intended for their eyes. Not only is it embar­rass­ing, but it can get you into a lot of trouble.

Bank Accounts

I know it sounds like a given, but it’s also extremely impor­tant that you con­tinue to main­tain your own bank account. If your rich older man wants to give you money to pay a bill or to send you on a shop­ping spree, ask him for cash. I’ve heard hor­ror sto­ries from women who accepted a large check from their sugar daddy, who then put a stop-payment note on it or claimed fraud on a check after some­thing went sour in the relationship.

Noth­ing is ever a guar­an­tee in a rela­tion­ship, espe­cially in a May-December rela­tion­ship, so it’s always best to play it safe and put your well-being first—you never know what could hap­pen between you and your sugar daddy tomorrow.

Never let your older man take total con­trol of your life. Besides, keep­ing your inde­pen­dence goes to show that you can do with or with­out your sugar daddy. He should be the one need­ing you, and not the other way around.