5 Foolproof Ways to Pick Up a Girl at the Gym (Plus What Not to Do)

Pick Up a GirlThe gym is as good a place as any to meet some­one, but there’s a right way and a very wrong way to go about it. As a woman who hits the gym reg­u­larly, I’ve seen and expe­ri­enced for myself what it’s like to have some meat­head come up to you when all you want to do is power through your workout—but I’ve also seen guys pull it off. Pick­ing up at the gym can be chal­leng­ing, because it’s not like a bar where women expect to be approached, but it’s not impos­si­ble; it just takes a lit­tle more game. Here’s what you need to know to suc­cess­fully pick up a woman at the gym.

What Not to Do

I’ve seen a lot of men crash and burn when try­ing to pick up at the gym, sim­ply because they make stu­pid mis­takes. From a woman’s per­spec­tive, if you want to strike up a con­ver­sa­tion and make a move, avoid doing any of the following:

• Going to the gym for the sole pur­pose of pick­ing up (We can tell when you’re not really there to exercise.)

• Star­ing at her like a creep (It makes women feel really uncom­fort­able, espe­cially when they’re work­ing out.)

• Com­pli­ment­ing her body (Again, it can make her feel uncom­fort­able, because she’s prob­a­bly not there to impress.)

• Inter­rupt­ing her work­out (You wouldn’t want to be inter­rupted when you’re in the groove, would you? She prob­a­bly feels the same way. Plus, it can be dan­ger­ous if she breaks her focus to talk to you in the mid­dle of a set.)

• Try­ing to impress her by lift­ing heaver weights or run­ning faster (espe­cially if you can’t actu­ally keep up)

• Grunt­ing like an ani­mal to make it look like you’re super strong (It’s annoy­ing, not attractive.)

• Cor­rect­ing her form (If she doesn’t ask for your help, she prob­a­bly doesn’t want or need it.)

• Approach­ing her when you’re sweaty and gross (Wip­ing your­self down and mask­ing your body odor will go a long a way.)

• Approach­ing her when all your bud­dies are watch­ing (We’re not in the fifth grade.)

How to Pick Up the RIGHT Way

Now that you know what not to do, here are a few tips to help you get it done right:

• Become one of the reg­u­lars: These days, being a gym mem­ber is like being part of a community—over time you start to rec­og­nize faces. There’s a bet­ter chance that this girl you’re eye­ing will want to talk to you if she rec­og­nizes you ver­sus if you were a com­plete stranger.

• Be social: She’ll likely feel more com­fort­able talk­ing to you at the gym if she sees that you’re a social guy who chats with other peo­ple, too.

• Per­fect your tim­ing: Like I said ear­lier, you never want to approach a girl while she’s in the mid­dle of doing her thing—most women go to the gym to actu­ally work out, not to get a date, so it would be rude to inter­rupt. Instead, wait till she’s fin­ished her workout—there’s a much bet­ter chance that she’ll pay more atten­tion to you, and she’ll appre­ci­ate the con­sid­er­a­tion. Another good oppor­tu­nity is when she’s stretching—if you’re doing the same nearby, it’s a great open­ing for conversation.

• Join a class: This one only works if she takes classes too. There’s usu­ally a few min­utes before the class starts where par­tic­i­pants kind of stand around and mingle—this would make for the per­fect oppor­tu­nity to strike up a con­ver­sa­tion. Ask her if she’s done the class before and what she thinks of it. That way when you see her at the next class, she’ll remem­ber your famil­iar face. On a side note about classes, you might want to skip the Zumba—this tip works bet­ter if it’s a body ton­ing, car­dio, or strength build­ing type of class.

• Make eye con­tact: This does not mean you should gawk at her till she notices. If you want to get her atten­tion with­out totally creep­ing her out, try to make eye con­tact (a quick glance is all it takes), smile casu­ally, and then con­tinue with what you’re doing. That’ll show her that you notice her, but that you’re con­scious about not dis­turb­ing her—and then wait till she’s done work­ing out to approach her.

• Make appro­pri­ate con­ver­sa­tion: Cor­rect­ing her form is just going to piss her off, espe­cially if you’re not the fittest guy in the room. The smarter way to go about it is to pay her a com­pli­ment about her skill, not her body. For instance, com­pli­ment her on her speed or her form, but make sure it’s a gen­uine com­pli­ment, because she’ll see right through you if it’s not.

• Do a lit­tle groom­ing before­hand: Make sure you’re not sweat­ing pro­fusely and/or let­ting off any lin­ger­ing body odors—she won’t be able to focus on how witty and charm­ing you are if she can’t get past how gross you smell. Before approach­ing a woman at the gym, make a trip to the change room, dry off, wash your face, and run your fin­gers through your hair. Even though you’re at the gym, you should still look some­what presentable.

• Know when to give up: If she smiles at you and is recep­tive to your con­ver­sa­tion, then carry on. But if she ignores you, rolls her eyes, or just smirks and looks away, leave her alone; she’s not interested.

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About Francine K

I first met Alfred when I was 38 and he was 63, on an Internet chat site. I really didn't think this was a datable person, but a wonderful friendship developed. We became chat buddies for a while and connected so well on so many levels, we decided to meet in person. We live 100 miles apart, but that has never gotten in the way of us spending time together. A passionate relationship soon grew, and oh what an amazing lover. I had some reservations about getting too involved: our age difference is 25 years, and we are in different phases in our lives; in fact he has a daughter who is older than I am. I have 2 teenage sons, a career, was building my first home, and he’s retired, owns his home, lives alone, takes a nap during the day, and enjoys a slow-paced lifestyle. I am still ambitious and will soon have the empty nest to go start my own life, as my sons are nearly independent. There is no way I want to sit down and have a retired lifestyle yet. We’ve shared a beautiful, passionate friendship for many years together. We’ve never really figured out how to plan a future together, though.