50 May-December Relationship Hacks from Happily Married Couples

Relationship HacksA U.K.-based sur­vey may have unlocked the secret—50 secrets actually—to a truly happy May-December mar­riage, and some of them might sur­prise you.

Around 2,000 hap­pily mar­ried cou­ples were asked about their own per­sonal tips for a suc­cess­ful mar­riage, and the com­mon answers were com­prised into a list of the top 50 secrets. One of the most sur­pris­ing rev­e­la­tions was that reg­u­lar sex didn’t even make the top 10; it only came in 20th. So, if these cou­ples are any indi­ca­tion, it takes more than just good sex to make a May-December marriage.

The num­ber one secret on the list was being able to trust each other, which makes com­plete sense; it’s impos­si­ble to have a suc­cess­ful May-December mar­riage if you don’t trust one another. And that’s why “always being hon­est with each other” came in third, with hav­ing a sense of humor in sec­ond. Round­ing out the top five secrets to a suc­cess­ful mar­riage were remem­ber­ing impor­tant dates, like birth­days and anniver­saries, and “accept­ing each other’s faults.”

A lot of the other secrets on this list were pretty pre­dictable, like always say­ing “I love you,” shar­ing hob­bies and inter­ests, talk­ing about your prob­lems, not going to bed angry, get­ting along with fam­ily, and spend­ing qual­ity time together—these are all the types of things that you need in order to make a May-December mar­riage work, or any long-term rela­tion­ship for that matter.

There were also a few secrets on this list that you wouldn’t expect to see, but that can obvi­ously have an impact on a May-December mar­riage, like hav­ing two tele­vi­sions in the house, each hav­ing your own car, not hog­ging the remote con­trol, hav­ing two bath­rooms, and not being Face­book friends with any exes.

Despite the wide range of mar­riage tips included in this list, there seems to be some com­mon trends. All of these tips have to do with either invest­ing effort into the rela­tion­ship, main­tain­ing open lines of com­mu­ni­ca­tion, trust, shar­ing new expe­ri­ences, show­ing and express­ing love for one another, and doing what­ever you can to make each other happy. Even the points about hav­ing sep­a­rate cars and two TVs all go back to fos­ter­ing the rela­tion­ship; instead of fight­ing about what to watch for instance, avoid the argu­ment alto­gether by each watch­ing what­ever you want on sep­a­rate TVs. Let’s just say it makes it eas­ier to pick your bat­tles in a May-December mar­riage and instead focus on things that really matter.

The mes­sage behind this study is that rela­tion­ships and mar­riages take work. But it’s impor­tant to remem­ber why you fell in love with each other in the first place. Keep doing the things that you did and that made you happy when you first started dat­ing, and chances are your May-December mar­riage will thrive because of it.


Green­away, N., “Secrets to a happy mar­riage are hon­esty, com­pro­mise and hav­ing TWO of every­thing, includ­ing tele­vi­sions, cars AND toi­lets,” Daily Mail web site, March 31, 2015; http://goo.gl/HFu6q3.

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About Isabella

I was never patriotic, so when Independence Day came, the last thing on my mind was to go out and celebrate. I was bored and I was lonely, and though they weren’t my normal crowd, thesse girls were friends and family members who I grew up with. But Diana had her man, Marsha had hers, and my cousin Lisa had her own. I was the only one who was single and my taste was just too high; the kind of men they dated did not appeal to me. I wanted the executive, the entrepreneur. I was 22 and unhappy about my life. I yearned to be in a relationship; I felt I had so much to give a man, and yet I was single. My friends and I waited for cab and I was still second-guessing whether or not I really wanted to go out. While we were waiting, an older looking gentleman driving a blue pick-up truck drove up to us. As he slowed, he said, “Don’t move. I’m coming right back!” He drove off, leaving a trail of his cologne, as he sped away to drop off the construction workers sitting in the back of the truck. Literally moments later, he came back, stopped in front of us, asked us where we were going, and told us to get in. It turns out his name was Keith. After Keith dropped us off, I realized I didn’t want to stay and asked him to take me back to where he picked us up from. He turned, looked at me, and said, “You were the reason why I picked you all up. I wanted to get to know you. So, I’m happy you decided to leave with me.”