The Only Thing That Compromising Won’t Solve in Your May-December Relationship: Part 1

Bran­don, my older boyfriend, and I had been dat­ing for sev­eral months. In those months, I was at my most hap­pi­est I had ever been. My school-life and work-life had been going great and even though I had a hec­tic sched­ule, Bran­don and I man­aged to find time to see one another. We devel­oped a rou­tine of see­ing each other every Wednes­day night, which became the one and only day out of the week in which we were able to be together intimately.

When­ever we saw each other at work by coin­ci­dence or by Brandon’s own orches­tra­tions, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Pent-up sex­ual wants and needs drove us and at one point, we even used one of the back offices at my work for a quickie. It was hot and filled with the adren­a­line of pos­si­bly get­ting caught at any minute.

The rush and new­ness of our May-December rela­tion­ship never faded. How­ever, as much as I wished that Brandon’s faith and devo­tion to Chris­tian­ity wasn’t a big deal, it was. And the longer I tried to shrug it off, the more I was becom­ing aware that at some point, we needed to dis­cuss it.

One Wednes­day night, Bran­don asked if I wouldn’t mind going to church with him. I, of course, did not have a prob­lem with it. Just because I wasn’t a Chris­t­ian woman, it did not mean that I did not respect my boyfriend’s beliefs. I wanted to meet Bran­don halfway and I did, but on that par­tic­u­lar Wednes­day, there was a tone in Brandon’s usual jovial voice that made me real­ize that the time for “the talk” had come.

As usual, I got ready dur­ing the 30 min­utes that it took Bran­don to get to my house. I kept think­ing how I was going to phrase my thoughts to him if he were to ask me any­thing about our stand­points on reli­gious views. At best, I was eas­ily described as Agnos­tic, maybe even a lit­tle bor­der­line Athe­ist, even though as a child I was raised with a Catholic background.

In the first few weeks that Bran­don and I had started dat­ing, we were open with each other about our view­points in life. I knew Bran­don had been hurt in the past and that there was a slight cyn­i­cism in him towards women. He was very cau­tious with his feel­ings and even though he was open, hon­est, and very affec­tion­ate with me, there was always some­thing that I felt was off. In the begin­ning, it started off with com­ments such as, “Oh, you’re just like every girl then,” when I men­tioned my favorite color. It even­tu­ally built up to things like, “Women are just snakes and they spin their webs to catch you.”

When I first heard Bran­don say these kinds of things, I didn’t pay them any mind; I just laughed and fol­lowed it by say­ing, “And right there is typ­i­cal male think­ing.” And we would laugh and con­tinue on with what­ever we were doing. But this par­tic­u­lar day, Bran­don said some­thing to me that was the last thing I’d never imag­ine com­ing from the sweet, fun-loving guy I was call­ing my boyfriend…

This entry was posted in HSD on by .

About Lena

I’d always dreamed of the perfect fairytale prince in storybooks—ready with money and status to come save me from my chaotic, average life and treat me like his princess. Add a 26-year age difference and I found the closest thing to it. Not everything comes as easy as we expect it to, but that’s what makes it all the more fun. At 18 years old, I experienced that “Mr. Right Now” love with a guy my age named Jared. Two years later, I met Brandon, my older man. Jared was the typical playboy who romanced my naïve younger self and made me fall hard for him. That relationship caused me to view love in an entirely different way than I previously had, and I’m actually glad it did. By the time I met Brandon, I had become wiser and more prepared for the reality of relationships. Even though at 20 years old I didn’t show the tell-tale signs of a smart, mature woman, that was exactly what I had become. I started as a part-time secretary for a highly respectable office, while juggling a full-time load of college courses at the local university. It was my first official job where I had to wear heels, pencil skirts, and an occasional suit. I was no longer the high-school girl that found “true love” after graduation and had her heart broken immediately after. The new woman I was now was confident and smart, and when I saw Brandon walk through the lobby door, I knew he’d be a challenge, one I was ready to accept. Now at 22, and Brandon at 48, we’ve managed to keep a two -year relationship feeling like the very first day we met—all the excitement and butterflies are still very much present.