The Number One Reason Why I Will Never, Ever Leave My Older Man

Sugar Daddy Steven Tyler

Through­out our years together, my older man and I have devel­oped a rela­tion­ship that is open and trust­ing. Our mar­riage is so sta­ble it had never occurred to me that it could ever be in jeopardy.

The day he said to me, “I can’t con­tinue to live like this. You have to get help. This is ruin­ing our mar­riage,” I was shaken into the real­ity that our age gap rela­tion­ship was not fool­proof. He had just given me the only ulti­ma­tum ever issued in our mar­riage. I imme­di­ately began to cry as I watched him walk out of the room, but I knew in my heart that he was right. If I didn’t do some­thing about my prob­lem, I would lose him forever.

For more than seven months, I had been liv­ing with a sad­ness and pain so deep, I closed myself off from those I loved, includ­ing my hus­band. The painful odyssey in my life and our age gap rela­tion­ship began with the ring of a phone. Just sec­onds later I was scream­ing, “She can’t be dead, she can’t be. This isn’t happening.”

My best friend called to deliver the news that one of our clos­est friends had been hit, head-on, by a drunk dri­ver and was killed. A beau­ti­ful, viva­cious soul had been ripped from our lives, from my life, with­out as much as a warning.

My older man stood by my side through every­thing: the funeral, deliv­er­ing a eulogy, and giv­ing inter­views to the media. He held me at night as I cried myself to sleep for months on end. But when the cam­eras were gone, the funeral was over, and every­one else seemed to go on liv­ing, I was still over­whelmed with sorrow.

I felt guilty for being alive, and in essence, I stopped liv­ing. I couldn’t be affec­tion­ate towards my hus­band; I rarely laughed or spent time with him just to talk. My days revolved around cry­ing, pre­tend­ing to be OK, and plan­ning my state­ment to the court to ensure the drunk that killed her would get the max­i­mum sentence.

On the day my older man told me I needed to get help, he added that not only had we lost her, but he felt he was los­ing me. His pain was unmis­tak­able, and I believe his age was what allowed him the wis­dom to truly tell me how he was feeling.

Hear­ing the grav­ity in his voice, I agreed to see some­one. I learned that I was suf­fer­ing from com­pli­cated grief; it had become so extreme that it was threat­en­ing to unravel my mar­riage, because it pre­vented me from con­nect­ing with the peo­ple I loved.

After meet­ing with a doc­tor and proac­tively work­ing to push myself out of my grief, I real­ized how much I had neglected our mar­riage. I reached out to my hus­band and, once again, grew close to him. I had been afraid I would lose him, too, and was with­hold­ing my love. His reac­tion was imme­di­ate approval, sup­port, love, and acceptance.

I learned that my older man was will­ing to stand by me, but I also needed to help myself. For any­one going through a dif­fi­cult time in life, trust that an older man is also likely a wiser man; fol­low­ing his wis­dom can pre­vent a lot of heartache and could save your age gap relationship.

  • Dl

    I hope your MD did not pre­scribe anti­de­pres­sants! If he did, PLEASE, dont take Any! These are highly dele­te­ri­ous , neu­ro­toxic sub­stance. It will destroyer your brain, your mind and your life

    • BeejE

      Any mind-altering sub­stance can be dan­ger­ous and addic­tive if used incor­rectly. I agree that anti­de­pres­sants are often over­pre­scribed (or used sans pre­scrip­tion, also dan­ger­ous), but you can­not pos­si­bly know the exact cir­cum­stances of this woman’s con­di­tion or med­ical care, see­ing as you are nei­ther her nor her doc­tor. Please keep your insane, unsci­en­tific con­spir­acy the­o­ries to your­self and allow this woman to get the help she needs.

  • Bruce­and­Crys­tal White

    Just drink lots of diet soda with aspar­tame you will soon feel ‘bet­ter’ again