In the fall, my divorce proceedings were heating up. I discovered soon after the papers were filed that my spouse had been cheating for years. The rumor was that he even had a child with this woman. I was hurt and angry. As a result, I found myself often using my soon-to-be ex-husband as leverage. I very quickly learned to make my spouse look even worse than he was to my lover to get the rewards I was desperately seeking. Actually, at some point, the man in the Stetson hat thought I might actually be in jeopardy based on the stories I was telling him.
After spending a week with the Stetson man, I had a doctor’s appointment and needed to go home. However, the Stetson man believed I was in danger and was not going to allow me to leave alone. This doctor’s appointment was very important to me and I stressed that I always kept my appointments. We met with his attorney. He seemed to be the go-to man when things needed to be done for me. The attorney and I agreed I was not in harm’s way, but we both also knew that arguing with the Stetson man would be pointless.
Early in our relationship, I decided to not disagree with him. It was not becoming and it wasn’t what he expected. He was taking care of me; in return, I provided a safe, happy place for him to fall. So, after some negotiating back and forth, I agreed to meet a bodyguard at the airport upon my arrival. He had the attorney hire this bodyguard. When the attorney took care of things, he seemed to go above and beyond what was necessary. Not only did he hire a bodyguard, he hired an ex-Secret Service agent. Now, I had stepped into it and had to make it work.
I called my best friend and explained my situation. She laughed, as she often did at the things I managed to bring onto myself. Most importantly, she was on board. My best friend and I met at the airport and flew to my home state together. We giggled and laughed as we had no idea what lay ahead of us. What would this weekend hold? Truthfully, we were both a bit anxious, as we literally had no idea what to expect.
Once we landed, our directions were to go to the airport information desk. The bodyguard would walk up beside us, we were not to turn our head, but keep walking. We did so. Our experience was in full force. He escorted us to the rental car counter. The idea was for him to rent a vehicle, so we would be incognito. For safety measures, my car was left in airport parking, just in case it had an explosive device attached. Again, we chuckled.
At this point, we were both embarrassed to be in this situation. He gave us the sign to get into his rental car. Finally, introductions were made and we drove to my house. Upon arriving at my house, he went in first to secure the compound. He decided my window screen had been compromised. As he escorted us into the house, a noise in the garage caused him to pull his gun, and we hit the ground. For a brief moment, we also bought into the danger. My friend thought she saw a shadow, but it was only a tree.
That night, when we went to sleep, a flashlight was shined in our eyes every few hours to be sure we were still alive and safe. Of course, it is hard to sleep with lights in your eyes. At one point, my friend got up, passed the stairway, and noticed another bodyguard on duty. He was polishing an Uzi submachine gun. These men took their jobs seriously.
The following morning, we met with an entire security team. They assured us they were the best in their profession and they would die to keep us safe. We did our best not to die laughing. This was turning out to be a very expensive joke. It was an entirely different visit. We had no freedom. We weren’t allowed to go to the casino. Our bodyguard decided it would be too difficult to keep us safe. Any time we ventured out of the house, he secured each place before we entered, including stores in the mall. While driving, if he thought someone had been behind us too long, he would flip a u-turn in the middle of the road. He had no regard for the other traffic. Several times, I thought we might die in a car accident. I thought his driving was the only thing that could cause us harm that weekend.
I rapidly grew bored. I received hourly updates on my soon-to-be ex-spouse’s location. I began to text him what I knew. I would tease him about where he was and who was watching him. I would tell him the location and color of cars that were following him. I have no idea why, but at the time, it gave me power.
This went on for several days. Early one morning, the bodyguard burst into my bedroom. He was angry, and I knew it. He told me he was aware I had been texting my ex. He told me how I was compromising his job. He could be fired for these antics. I was astounded. I had no idea the security team had tapped my phone.
It seemed like forever, but the day of my doctor’s appointment finally arrived. We piled into the car to make the trip to the doctor’s office. Once we arrived in the parking lot, the bodyguard couldn’t decide the safest place to park. So, after considering several options, he finally put the car in park. I jumped out and ran in. The bodyguard was not happy that he did not have time to secure the office. My friend’s response was, “Haven’t you figured out what kind of doctor this is? She is in there getting Botox!”
The bodyguard continued to take his job seriously. Wheeling a case full of weapons, the bodyguard returned us to the airport. I flew back to the man in the Stetson hat and let him know I had not been a good patient. This venture had cost him well into six figures, but mission accomplished; I had safely received my much sought-after “Botox.”