How Can I Tell My Live-In Sugar Daddy to Stop Acting Like a Slob?

QUESTION: My suc­cess­ful man and I just moved in together and I’ve dis­cov­ered that he has some really annoy­ing habits, like leav­ing the toi­let seat up and not rins­ing out the sink after shav­ing. How do I get him to clean up his act and stop act­ing like a slob with­out com­ing across like a nag­ging housewife?

CHELSEA SAYS: This is def­i­nitely one of those cases where you really have to choose your bat­tles. On the one hand, you should both be com­fort­able liv­ing in this apart­ment together, and it’s not fair that you alone should have to make changes. At the same time, you’re not his mother. And mak­ing a huge deal out of pick­ing up after him­self prob­a­bly won’t go over so well.

How­ever, I think you should at least men­tion it to him, because, like I said, you have every right to bring it up. For all you know, he might not even real­ize that it both­ers you. And if you let it fes­ter, it won’t help your rela­tion­ship at all. You’ll both just end up get­ting frus­trated and will even­tu­ally blow up.

That being said, you should choose your bat­tles wisely. If you’re going to ask your suc­cess­ful man to put the toi­let seat down, then he has the right to ask you to put it up when you’re done because, after all, this home belongs to both of you. But other things are def­i­nitely OK, like the messy sink. The next time your suc­cess­ful man doesn’t rinse out the sink, casu­ally ask him to keep it in mind for next time. Don’t be snippy or rude, just say some­thing like, “Hey, I know you’ve prob­a­bly never had to worry about stuff like this before, but do you mind just run­ning some water in the sink when you’re done shav­ing?” He’ll hope­fully make more of an effort.

Keep in mind that if you keep doing it for him, he’ll never really change his ways. Why would he when he knows that he has you to pick up after him?

TRENT SAYS: I’m guess­ing the hon­ey­moon period has worn off and he’s being a nor­mal guy with nor­mal habits. For the most part, I think cou­ples have to pick their bat­tles and decide what’s impor­tant to address and what’s OK to let slide in the relationship.

As for his unseemly habits, I think it’s totally fine to ask him to put the toi­let seat down, so long as you do the same—and put the toi­let seat up when you’re done.

As for things like the sink, just ask him to rinse it out. There’s noth­ing wrong with ask­ing him to curb habits you think are annoy­ing. After all, it’s your place too and you want to feel relaxed and at home when you’re, well, at home, just like he does.

It’s bet­ter to get these things out in the open at the begin­ning; oth­er­wise, lit­tle things will fes­ter and you’ll just start to get annoyed and resent him. And noth­ing good comes from that. For the sake of your rela­tion­ship, you owe it to your suc­cess­ful man to speak up.