QUESTION: I’m a first-time sugar baby, and it couldn’t come at a more perfect time. Well, long story short, how do I ask my sugar daddy for $7,500 on the first date? Do I even ask him that? And do I have sex with him on our first date?
CHELSEA SAYS: Money and sex are two very different issues, and I think they definitely need to be addressed on separate occasions. So, let’s break it down.
Sex on the first date isn’t necessarily out of the question. It really depends on the nature of your relationship and how comfortable you are with your new sugar daddy. You’re never obligated to have sex with him at all if you don’t want to. The beauty of sugar/daddy sugar baby relationships is that you get set the terms of your relationship. You get to decide what you want out of it, and what you are and aren’t willing to do to get it. Some couples tend to be more sexual, while others don’t have sex at all.
That’s really something you have to figure out with your sugar daddy. If you have that conversation with your sugar daddy right off the bat about what the dynamics of your relationship will be with regards to sex, then you don’t have to worry about coming on too strong or being judged for being “easy.” It really just makes life easier for both of you.
Now, about the money issue—don’t ask for money on the first date if you’re planning on having sex with your sugar daddy. Even though your sugar daddy may not technically be paying you for sex, your asking for money like that on the first date can easily be misconstrued as prostitution, and that’s not what sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships are about.
I understand that you’re expecting some monetary gains out of the relationship, but I’d wait until after the first date to bring it up, especially when you’re asking for that much. Again, this goes back to having that open line of communication with your sugar daddy. You want to know going into it what his spending budget is like when it comes to his sugar baby—that way you know not to ask for more than what he’s willing to give you. It also gives you the opportunity to voice your expectations out of the relationship, so that he knows what he’s getting into as well.
Here’s what it boils down to. You want to keep it classy, so be careful not to toe the line between being a sugar baby and an escort. Sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships aren’t based solely on sex and money—there still has to be a legitimate connection between the two of you.
TRENT SAYS: Indeed, those are the loaded questions of a first-time sugar baby. I’ll be blunt; the sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship isn’t based on, “pay me X amount of money per month and I’ll sleep with you.” That’s something completely different and not something I can really comment on.
The sugar baby/sugar daddy relationship is about willfully fulfilling the needs of each other with something that you can easily give. It’s not really that different from knowing your wife likes flowers and sending her a bouquet every week.
In the case of a sugar baby/sugar daddy relationship, you’re just “fast-forwarding” to that phase. But, from a guy’s perspective, I still need to get to know her first. For example, on a date I might hear that a young lady has a penchant for Gucci purses or Cartier watches, or that she likes to spend her time relaxing on the beach. This is something that I would keep in the memory bank. I wouldn’t expect anything in return but the attention and respect that comes with helping fulfill that need.
Naturally, of course, I would want her to reciprocate.
If I hear something is unreasonable or something that makes me feel uncomfortable, I will simply say no. I suppose, at the beginning, that’s the beauty of these kinds of relationships. There’s no emotional baggage or long-term expectations, so if it doesn’t work for me (or for her), I can just move on.