How Do I Convince My Sugar Daddy to Get a Little More Creative with Our Sex Life?

QUESTION: Let me start by say­ing that sex with my older sugar daddy is amaz­ing. We’ve been together for almost six months now, so he’s learned what really dri­ves me wild. How­ever, he isn’t very spon­ta­neous and only likes to have sex in the bed­room. Mean­while, I love chang­ing things up once in a while—I espe­cially love doing it in crazy places. There’s just some­thing so thrilling about it. How do I even begin to approach the sub­ject with my sugar daddy?

CHELSEA SAYS: It sounds like you both just have dif­fer­ent tastes when it comes to sex. You like to get cre­ative, but your sugar daddy likes to keep things more tra­di­tional, which is some­times expected when you’re dat­ing an older man. Your sugar daddy may not be com­fort­able with sex in pub­lic places, which is some­thing you just have to accept. Imag­ine if the tables were turned—you wouldn’t want him to pres­sure you into doing some­thing you weren’t com­fort­able with, right?

There’s prob­a­bly no harm in gen­tly bring­ing it up with your sugar daddy, though. Just don’t make it sound like you’re bash­ing his sex skills, or lead him to think you aren’t being sat­is­fied. Start the con­ver­sa­tion by telling him how much you love hav­ing sex with him, and that you think it might be fun to try some­thing new together. If he’s absolutely against the idea, then I say let it go. Besides, like you said, the sex is “amaz­ing” the way it is now, so why rock the boat?

If your sugar daddy is open to the idea of spic­ing up your sex life with a loca­tion change, then take it slow—going straight from the bed­room to a more pub­lic space might be too over­whelm­ing for him. Start with small shifts, like mov­ing from the bed­room to the bath­room, from the bath­room to the kitchen, and so on. Once you’ve exper­i­mented with dif­fer­ent areas around the house, then you can ease into some­thing a lit­tle crazier.

TRENT SAYS: When you say your sugar daddy isn’t spon­ta­neous, does that mean he likes vanilla sex in the bed­room, or he likes crazy sex in the bed­room? If it’s vanilla sex, you’re look­ing to change not just the scenery, but also the posi­tions. Baby steps might be in order. Try strad­dling him while he’s watch­ing TV, or make out a lit­tle in the kitchen and see where that leads. Bet­ter yet, sneak into the shower with him.

If your sugar daddy is crazy in the bed­room, there’s a chance he doesn’t have geo­graph­i­cal bound­aries when it comes to sex. Maybe he’s con­strained by age. Depend­ing on how much older he is, it’s quite pos­si­ble that spon­ta­neous sex in unortho­dox places wasn’t some­thing he did when he was younger. But maybe he’s more than will­ing to exper­i­ment now.

There is a third pos­si­bil­ity. If he’s an attached sugar daddy, maybe he doesn’t like the idea of almost get­ting caught. And hav­ing sex at home in the bed­room is def­i­nitely one good way to con­trol the situation.

Chances are, because he’s male, he’ll either be ready to go wher­ever when­ever, or he’ll be happy to take it slow and expand his sex­ual bound­aries. As long as he feels com­fort­able around you and trusts the rela­tion­ship, I’m pretty sure he’ll be open to you broad­en­ing his horizons.