QUESTION: Let me start by saying that sex with my older sugar daddy is amazing. We’ve been together for almost six months now, so he’s learned what really drives me wild. However, he isn’t very spontaneous and only likes to have sex in the bedroom. Meanwhile, I love changing things up once in a while—I especially love doing it in crazy places. There’s just something so thrilling about it. How do I even begin to approach the subject with my sugar daddy?
CHELSEA SAYS: It sounds like you both just have different tastes when it comes to sex. You like to get creative, but your sugar daddy likes to keep things more traditional, which is sometimes expected when you’re dating an older man. Your sugar daddy may not be comfortable with sex in public places, which is something you just have to accept. Imagine if the tables were turned—you wouldn’t want him to pressure you into doing something you weren’t comfortable with, right?
There’s probably no harm in gently bringing it up with your sugar daddy, though. Just don’t make it sound like you’re bashing his sex skills, or lead him to think you aren’t being satisfied. Start the conversation by telling him how much you love having sex with him, and that you think it might be fun to try something new together. If he’s absolutely against the idea, then I say let it go. Besides, like you said, the sex is “amazing” the way it is now, so why rock the boat?
If your sugar daddy is open to the idea of spicing up your sex life with a location change, then take it slow—going straight from the bedroom to a more public space might be too overwhelming for him. Start with small shifts, like moving from the bedroom to the bathroom, from the bathroom to the kitchen, and so on. Once you’ve experimented with different areas around the house, then you can ease into something a little crazier.
TRENT SAYS: When you say your sugar daddy isn’t spontaneous, does that mean he likes vanilla sex in the bedroom, or he likes crazy sex in the bedroom? If it’s vanilla sex, you’re looking to change not just the scenery, but also the positions. Baby steps might be in order. Try straddling him while he’s watching TV, or make out a little in the kitchen and see where that leads. Better yet, sneak into the shower with him.
If your sugar daddy is crazy in the bedroom, there’s a chance he doesn’t have geographical boundaries when it comes to sex. Maybe he’s constrained by age. Depending on how much older he is, it’s quite possible that spontaneous sex in unorthodox places wasn’t something he did when he was younger. But maybe he’s more than willing to experiment now.
There is a third possibility. If he’s an attached sugar daddy, maybe he doesn’t like the idea of almost getting caught. And having sex at home in the bedroom is definitely one good way to control the situation.
Chances are, because he’s male, he’ll either be ready to go wherever whenever, or he’ll be happy to take it slow and expand his sexual boundaries. As long as he feels comfortable around you and trusts the relationship, I’m pretty sure he’ll be open to you broadening his horizons.