QUESTION: Last year I married my boyfriend, who’s about 19 year older than me. He’s just started sporting white hair and when I suggested he tries dying it, he totally freaked out on me. I think he’s incredibly attractive, especially for an older man, but I think he would look even better if he covered up the grays. How do I bring it up again without making him angry?
CHELSEA SAYS: I don’t blame your older man for getting offended. How would you like it if he came to you one day and said, “Honey, I love you, but you’ve put on a few extra pounds since we got married. Do you mind hitting the gym?” I’m willing to bet you would be pretty peeved.
You entered into marriage with this man knowing very well that he was, well, older. You knew that he would age faster than you because he’s got an almost two-decade head start. The last thing you want to do, as his younger wife, is make him feel old. Like you said, he’s still an attractive man and going gray can be a really good look for him. Think George Clooney or Pierce Brosnan—they’re both rocking gray strands and are still as gorgeous as ever. Now, if your older man is all of a sudden letting himself go and doesn’t style his hair as much as he used to, that’s a different story.
If you’re really not feeling your man’s new silver fox look, here’s something to try. Book a day for both of you at the spa. Enjoy a relaxing couple’s massage, get a manicure (a manly one for him, of course), and then finish it off by spending some time with a hairstylist—both of you, not just your older man. Get the stylist to suggest ideas for your man’s gray hair, whether it’s working with salt and pepper strands or dying it all back to a darker shade. When the suggestions are coming from a professional stylist, it will be easier for your older man to digest—to him, it’s the professional opinion of a style expert versus a personal attack from his wife.
If you try something new with your hair too, like a different cut or highlights, he’ll see it as something you’re doing together, as opposed to something you’re making him do.