QUESTION: I’ve been a sugar daddy for the past 10 years. It’s the perfect lifestyle for my busy work schedule. I recently started dating this woman who’s almost 20 years younger than I am. We get along great—she’s probably one of the best sugar babies I’ve been with. We recently took our relationship to the bedroom and had sex for the first time. While we were getting it on, she kept calling me “daddy.” I don’t know if it was intentional or if that’s even normal these days—all I know is that it did nothing for my sex drive. If I wanted someone to call me “daddy,” I would have had kids. But I also don’t want to break up with her over it. Is there a way I can handle it without rocking the boat too much?
CHELSEA SAYS: I definitely don’t think this warrants a breakup, at least not yet. If you haven’t told her that you don’t like it, she probably has no idea that it bothers you. It might just be a habit she’s picked up, and to her, it’s a term of endearment or satisfaction. But I guess since you’re her sugar daddy, and I’m assuming you’re older than her, it can make it awkward for you. Totally understandable!
Just tell your sugar baby that it makes you a little uncomfortable when she calls you “daddy” during sex, and if you point out that it can be a downer for you, I’m sure she’ll make a conscious effort to stop. Maybe you guys can come up with something that works a little bit better for both of you.
To avoid killing the mood, I’d suggest having this talk when you’re not about to get down and dirty, or even worse, while you’re in the middle of having sex. The last thing a girl wants to hear during sex is that she’s doing something you don’t like—we have egos too. And she’s more likely to get defensive if you bring it up while you’re doing the deed. It’s all about timing and how you phrase it. Instead of saying, “You know it really kills my sex life when you do this,” say something like, “You know I love when you do this to me, but maybe we can try calling me [insert favored pet name here] instead. That would really make me hot.”
TRENT SAYS: Nice, you’re her sugar daddy everywhere. Did your sugar baby call you “daddy” with a fun cooing voice? As in, “You’re my sugar daddy, so let’s get it on?” Although, I suppose it doesn’t really matter, since it killed your sex drive.
From my perspective, it’s not that much of an issue that I would consider breaking up with my sugar baby over. After all, lots of couples have pet names for each other—one of the most popular being “baby,” and no one thinks that’s weird.
Still, her boudoir term of endearment doesn’t bode well with you, so just tell her. Sure you might be her sugar daddy, but that doesn’t mean you want it to be your identity everywhere, and that’s understandable. At the same time, can you really control what she screams out while she’s having great sex with you? There’s only one way to find out. Tell her that it makes you feel uncomfortable and to come up with a new one if need be.
Also, remind her that it zaps your sex drive. No sugar daddy wants that. And it sounds like she doesn’t want that to happen either.