How Do I Get My Sugar Baby to Stop Calling Me “Daddy” When We Have Sex?

QUESTION: I’ve been a sugar daddy for the past 10 years. It’s the per­fect lifestyle for my busy work sched­ule. I recently started dat­ing this woman who’s almost 20 years younger than I am. We get along great—she’s prob­a­bly one of the best sugar babies I’ve been with. We recently took our rela­tion­ship to the bed­room and had sex for the first time. While we were get­ting it on, she kept call­ing me “daddy.” I don’t know if it was inten­tional or if that’s even nor­mal these days—all I know is that it did noth­ing for my sex drive. If I wanted some­one to call me “daddy,” I would have had kids. But I also don’t want to break up with her over it. Is there a way I can han­dle it with­out rock­ing the boat too much?

CHELSEA SAYS: I def­i­nitely don’t think this war­rants a breakup, at least not yet. If you haven’t told her that you don’t like it, she prob­a­bly has no idea that it both­ers you. It might just be a habit she’s picked up, and to her, it’s a term of endear­ment or sat­is­fac­tion. But I guess since you’re her sugar daddy, and I’m assum­ing you’re older than her, it can make it awk­ward for you. Totally understandable!

Just tell your sugar baby that it makes you a lit­tle uncom­fort­able when she calls you “daddy” dur­ing sex, and if you point out that it can be a downer for you, I’m sure she’ll make a con­scious effort to stop. Maybe you guys can come up with some­thing that works a lit­tle bit bet­ter for both of you.

To avoid killing the mood, I’d sug­gest hav­ing this talk when you’re not about to get down and dirty, or even worse, while you’re in the mid­dle of hav­ing sex. The last thing a girl wants to hear dur­ing sex is that she’s doing some­thing you don’t like—we have egos too. And she’s more likely to get defen­sive if you bring it up while you’re doing the deed. It’s all about tim­ing and how you phrase it. Instead of say­ing, “You know it really kills my sex life when you do this,” say some­thing like, “You know I love when you do this to me, but maybe we can try call­ing me [insert favored pet name here] instead. That would really make me hot.”

TRENT SAYS: Nice, you’re her sugar daddy every­where. Did your sugar baby call you “daddy” with a fun coo­ing voice? As in, “You’re my sugar daddy, so let’s get it on?” Although, I sup­pose it doesn’t really mat­ter, since it killed your sex drive.

From my per­spec­tive, it’s not that much of an issue that I would con­sider break­ing up with my sugar baby over. After all, lots of cou­ples have pet names for each other—one of the most pop­u­lar being “baby,” and no one thinks that’s weird.

Still, her boudoir term of endear­ment doesn’t bode well with you, so just tell her. Sure you might be her sugar daddy, but that doesn’t mean you want it to be your iden­tity every­where, and that’s under­stand­able. At the same time, can you really con­trol what she screams out while she’s hav­ing great sex with you? There’s only one way to find out. Tell her that it makes you feel uncom­fort­able and to come up with a new one if need be.

Also, remind her that it zaps your sex drive. No sugar daddy wants that. And it sounds like she doesn’t want that to hap­pen either.