How Do I Make It Clear to My Sugar Daddy That I Draw the Line at Sex?

QUESTION: What are the rules about sex with a sugar daddy? It’s my first time dat­ing one, and at first, he said he wasn’t inter­ested in hav­ing sex—he just wanted me to be his arm candy at cer­tain events, which I was totally OK with. But recently, he’s been drop­ping hints that he wants to get down and dirty—he didn’t say that exactly, but it was implied. He keeps say­ing things like, “You should spend the night,” and “I bet you look sexy first thing in the morn­ing.” He’s a great guy, but sex is def­i­nitely out of the ques­tion for me. How do I make it clear that I draw the line at sex with my sugar daddy? 

CHELSEA SAYS: This one is pretty cut and dry. Tell your sugar daddy that sex is off the table. I’m assum­ing that when the two of you first started dat­ing, you dis­cussed what the expec­ta­tions and bound­aries were, like sex. He said he wasn’t inter­ested in sex, and you agreed. Done and done.

I’m sure you’re a younger, beau­ti­ful woman; so nat­u­rally, your sugar daddy’s sex drive was bound to kick in sooner or later. It isn’t easy for men to resist the temp­ta­tion of a hot woman on their arm.

I think you should sit down and have a con­ver­sa­tion about your rela­tion­ship, like adults. Tell him that, since your rela­tion­ship has pro­gressed and you’ve been together for a while now, it’s a good time to reeval­u­ate the expec­ta­tions to make sure noth­ing has changed. That way, you’re giv­ing him a chance to speak up about want­ing to add sex to the relationship.

If your sugar daddy doesn’t bring up the topic of sex, then you should. Start with some­thing like, “I’m get­ting the feel­ing that you want to take our rela­tion­ship to the next level.” And then take it from there. Don’t accuse him of any­thing, but give him the chance to make the proposition.

If your sugar daddy wants sex, but you still don’t, then it’s time to end the rela­tion­ship. It’s not going to work if your expec­ta­tions no longer align with one another.

TRENT SAYS: Every rela­tion­ship has its bound­aries. I don’t care if it’s a sugar daddy/sugar baby rela­tion­ship or tra­di­tional rela­tion­ship. Cross­ing some of those bound­aries are deal break­ers, and oth­ers aren’t.

I pre­sume you had a dis­cus­sion in the early stages of your rela­tion­ship about what the expec­ta­tions would be? I’m also assum­ing that you both agreed to them. It sounds like your sugar daddy wants to move the rela­tion­ship for­ward in a new direc­tion, but this rela­tion­ship is going places you aren’t keen on.

It’s impor­tant that you feel com­fort­able with your sugar daddy, that you can trust him. This sugar daddy/sugar baby rela­tion­ship is get­ting prickly. You both deserve to be with peo­ple you want to be with, and you both deserve to get what you want out of the rela­tion­ship.  In other words, it might be time to part ways.