QUESTION: What are the rules about sex with a sugar daddy? It’s my first time dating one, and at first, he said he wasn’t interested in having sex—he just wanted me to be his arm candy at certain events, which I was totally OK with. But recently, he’s been dropping hints that he wants to get down and dirty—he didn’t say that exactly, but it was implied. He keeps saying things like, “You should spend the night,” and “I bet you look sexy first thing in the morning.” He’s a great guy, but sex is definitely out of the question for me. How do I make it clear that I draw the line at sex with my sugar daddy?
CHELSEA SAYS: This one is pretty cut and dry. Tell your sugar daddy that sex is off the table. I’m assuming that when the two of you first started dating, you discussed what the expectations and boundaries were, like sex. He said he wasn’t interested in sex, and you agreed. Done and done.
I’m sure you’re a younger, beautiful woman; so naturally, your sugar daddy’s sex drive was bound to kick in sooner or later. It isn’t easy for men to resist the temptation of a hot woman on their arm.
I think you should sit down and have a conversation about your relationship, like adults. Tell him that, since your relationship has progressed and you’ve been together for a while now, it’s a good time to reevaluate the expectations to make sure nothing has changed. That way, you’re giving him a chance to speak up about wanting to add sex to the relationship.
If your sugar daddy doesn’t bring up the topic of sex, then you should. Start with something like, “I’m getting the feeling that you want to take our relationship to the next level.” And then take it from there. Don’t accuse him of anything, but give him the chance to make the proposition.
If your sugar daddy wants sex, but you still don’t, then it’s time to end the relationship. It’s not going to work if your expectations no longer align with one another.
TRENT SAYS: Every relationship has its boundaries. I don’t care if it’s a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship or traditional relationship. Crossing some of those boundaries are deal breakers, and others aren’t.
I presume you had a discussion in the early stages of your relationship about what the expectations would be? I’m also assuming that you both agreed to them. It sounds like your sugar daddy wants to move the relationship forward in a new direction, but this relationship is going places you aren’t keen on.
It’s important that you feel comfortable with your sugar daddy, that you can trust him. This sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship is getting prickly. You both deserve to be with people you want to be with, and you both deserve to get what you want out of the relationship. In other words, it might be time to part ways.