How Do I Tell My Straight-Edge Friend That I’m Dating an Older Man?

How Do I Tell My Straight-Edge Friend That I’m Dating an Older ManQUESTION: I’ve been dat­ing an older guy for about three months now. He’s gor­geous, incred­i­bly sweet, and I really love being with him, but I have yet to intro­duce him to my best friend. She’s really con­ser­v­a­tive and I’m scared she won’t get why I’m with him. She knows I’m in a rela­tion­ship, but not that it’s a May-December rela­tion­ship. What’s the best way to tell her about my older man?

CHELSEA SAYS: I under­stand that she’s your best friend, but you need to stop pay­ing so much atten­tion to what she will think of you and your May-December rela­tion­ship. If you really do like him and you want to keep dat­ing him despite the age dif­fer­ence, it shouldn’t mat­ter what she thinks. Here’s what it boils down to—you should want to show off your gor­geous older man, not hide him away. If you’re embar­rassed to be with him, then you shouldn’t have started dat­ing him in the first place.

If you want to keep both your friend­ship and your May-December rela­tion­ship, then you need to tell her what’s going on. Sit her down and start by telling her about this amaz­ing man you met. Tell her about his great per­son­al­ity, how he treats you like a queen, how happy you are, and that you see that there’s seri­ous poten­tial with him—tell her how you hon­estly feel. But make sure that you talk about him the way you would any other man. Be authen­tic and real, and let the age dif­fer­ence come out nat­u­rally. If his age is the first thing that comes up when talk­ing about your older man, then it clearly means more to you than you’re let­ting on. If that’s the case, per­haps you need to re-address how com­mit­ted you are to being in a May-December relationship.

Remem­ber, if you’re authen­tic in the way that you tell her about your May-December rela­tion­ship, her response will be authen­tic in return. If you sugar coat it or beat around the bush, you won’t know how she really feels.

If she’s really your best friend, she’ll be more con­cerned with how happy he makes you than how old he is. In all hon­esty, if she’s too con­ven­tional to accept your May-December rela­tion­ship and that your taste in men is dif­fer­ent from hers, then I say it’s time to start look­ing for new friends.

  • Mar­tina Perry

    Marry in haste , repent at leisure. . I heard this so often when grow­ing up .Now ‚it’s all about mar­ry­ing for money . I fol­lowed my heart & mar­ried a much younger man Why ? He is funny & he is gen­er­ous , & so am I . It is all about lik­ing each other & trust & I knew that he was okay . I mar­ried him because my instincts told me to . I am my own per­son & lis­ten to no one else . Be an indi­vid­ual . Real friends will cel­e­brate you & love you no mat­ter what. Be your own best friend.. mar­riage is a gam­ble & 14 years later we are still going. Is it per­fect ? No , far from it . I could never have mar­ried an old man just because he was rich . There will always be a price to pay & I could never live with the con­se­quences of that choice . I’m not judg­ing , far from it . I’m in no posi­tion to judge any­one , believe me ! Just try­ing to be honest .