I had somehow managed to get away with not telling Derrick, my older man, about Josh, the younger man I was secretly having an affair with. When I had called Derrick to update him on his wife’s threatening me, I conveniently left out any mention of the picture she had of me and Josh. And he didn’t really ask for too many details. He simply demanded that he needed to be at the house when she showed up to confront me at 5 o’clock.
Even though he had stood up for me in front of his wife, my attempts to save our relationship were useless. After Mrs. Friedman left that day, Derrick told me that he could no longer continue seeing me—one month before our two-and-a-half-year anniversary, my older man wanted to break up. He said that he needed time to repair his broken marriage, and that although he had gone off on her to defend me, he realized that she was ultimately the person that he wanted to be with. I cried but never said a word. I just watched him walk away. Our relationship had finally run its course.
I took my time slowly packing my stuff and making arrangements to move back home. Every day I waited for the phone to ring, for Derrick to call and tell me that my time was up and that I had to leave the house. The phone never rang. When two weeks passed without any word from him, I was even more confused. Was Derrick expecting that I would voluntarily leave? Did he think that I was already gone?
I was so comfortable in this house, which is why I chose to stay, but I was prepared to leave at a moment’s notice. I eventually realized that the bills were still getting paid, so I knew that Derrick was aware that I was still in the house—so I just stayed.
When Derrick first left me, I became really depressed, so much so that I completely forgot about Josh. When he called or texted, I just didn’t reply. Even though I slept with another man, I still loved Derrick with all my heart. I have always been a believer in the idea that if you truly loved a person once, you can never stop loving them—the love may change form, but they will forever be in your heart.
Once upon a time, I was madly in love with this older man, and perhaps if he had never been married, and if he hadn’t treated me like his mistress, my heart would still be in its place. Every night I fell asleep with a picture of us at our engagement party. I cried myself to sleep for weeks. At the time, I never imagined that one day, he would come back for me.