Me and my older husband, Keegan, now had two young kids together and decided it was time to sell our own individual homes and buy our own custom dream house together. This process included moving in with his parents, an idea that I was less than thrilled about, because I could not—and still cannot—stand his mother. Till today, she still makes my skin crawl.
Our marriage had a lot of stresses and fights because of his parents. And then to move in so they were on top of us—even if it was temporarily—was just a flat-out bad move altogether. It helped financially, because we did not have to pay rent, but it seriously affected our relationship with each other and our kids.
My house sold quickly, but Keegan’s house sold even faster. We signed the agreement to build our new home in the beginning of April and we were able to move in by the beginning of December. We ended up living with his parents for a total of one year and four months. Despite everything we had been through already, this was by far the hardest part of our marriage. My husband’s knee jerk reaction was/is to always defend his mom and dad instead of his wife. This is still a very sore issue in our marriage today.
About six months after moving in, my doctors determined that I would need to have a partial hysterectomy to resolve the pain that I had since our younger daughter’s birth. This was devastating, because it would mean that we could never have any more kids like we planned to. In a way, it felt like I was being robbed of my womanhood, and the overall thought of needing yet another major surgery was absolutely daunting. But, I have to admit that I would never have made it through without Keegan.
Because of the way the benefit year fell at work, the surgery had to be delayed until January 2013. This time around, surgery laid me completely out. It was the hardest surgery I ever had. I struggled physically, emotionally, and mentally to feel like an attractive woman again. I struggled with menopause at 26 years old.
I also struggled sexually; I just couldn’t be aroused or reach an orgasm. At one point, I remember telling Keegan to just divorce me, because it was all too much. Here I was at 26 going through what most 50-year-old women experience. Although with our big age difference, at least we were on the same page with the physical ailments.
Between the fighting with his family and the disappearing act of our sex life, it just didn’t seem fair to either of us to continue on with our marriage. But Keegan disagreed and stood by my side—he never even flinched. He chose not to take a lover, and instead, said he was satisfied with whatever help I could provide him sexually. It was much harder for me than he initially realized though, because I could not get aroused at all after surgery for quite some time.
It was during this time that an old flame, Brian, came back into the picture—this was the man that I had had an affair with just a couple weeks before I married Keegan. I just needed someone who was on my side to talk to and confide in, and he was there for me. Brian had moved to Minnesota, but although we couldn’t see each other face-to-face, we talked every single day. Big mistake…