QUESTION: I just started going on age gap dating web sites and I don’t know how to answer the question about what my financial expectations are. Can you help me out?
CHELSEA SAYS: This is always such an awkward question on age gap dating sites, because it assumes that you’re in it just for the financial gain. While that might be true for some women, it isn’t necessarily the case for all May-December relationships.
The easiest thing to do would be to just put, “Negotiable,” or something along those lines, and then take it up with a potential match personally. But if you’re looking for a legitimate May-December relationship that’s about more than just money, avoid putting a dollar amount, or better yet, avoid the question all together. Instead, talk about what kinds of things you enjoy doing or what some of your interests are. That way, you’re giving potential matches a pretty clear idea of what type of lifestyle you enjoy without actually putting a dollar value on it.
The minute you do put a number in that field, you’re immediately telling potential matches that money is a major priority for you in age gap dating, which probably isn’t the message you want to send if you’re looking for a genuine May-December relationship.
TRENT SAYS: I always found those age gap dating questions to be really strange and one-sided, not to mention the fact that they miss the point entirely. You’re looking for a May-December relationship that has as many different dynamics as a so-called traditional relationship.
It isn’t about pay me X amount of money and I’ll hang out with you. It’s about willfully fulfilling each other’s needs with something you can both freely give. If a man knows his girlfriend likes flowers, he might send her a bouquet every Friday.
You might eventually go on a date with someone from that age gap dating site and maybe you tell him you really like Chanel ballet flats or would love to spend a quiet weekend together in front of a fire at a ski lodge. If it were me, I’d make a mental note of everything you said. And I’d hope you’d pay attention to things I say too.
Because we’re in a relationship, we want to fulfill each other’s needs. If something is unreasonable, then speak up. If you don’t like where the relationship is or where it’s going, you are free to end it without dealing with any emotional baggage.