My older husband and I had always known from the beginning of our marriage that we would eventually join the swinging lifestyle as a couple. It was a bit of a twisted requirement Keegan had set forth just before our wedding, and one that sort of just made sense for us.
During my first difficult pregnancy, I had set my husband up with a woman named Anne to satisfy his needs. And he was with another woman, Candice, for basically the first six months of our relationship. And then there was Brian, whom I had sex with in the back of his pickup truck two weeks before my wedding. That’s a whole lot of deceit over something we were both interested in. We came to an agreement that eventually, we would actively join the swinging community.
Sex for us has always been great with a few lulls in between, mostly due to kids and medical issues—even then we were creatively crazy. My friends still can’t understand how I could have arranged a friends-with-benefits relationship for my husband and without going entirely crazy. Aside from those times though, we have always been very adventurous in the bedroom, car, park, and even at work. It just is what it is—we like to f*ck, a lot. Not the sex specifically, but the openness and creativity, was a huge selling factor for my husband.
At some point, Keegan casually suggested that we create a swingers dating profile to find other couples who were into the same things we were, but also to find local clubs and parties. His thought process was that it would help establish me into the lifestyle with him, since prior to me, he had experience enjoying the lifestyle for many years. We set up the profile but didn’t actively use it.
The swinger lifestyle is like this hidden society of people from all walks of life; you just never know who you might run into and what their twisted little fantasy may be. Since we were settled into our new home and life was good again, we decided to dust off that old account and update it.
Just like a dating profile for singles, the questionnaire asked us questions about what we were looking for, what we looked like, and what our fantasies were—these are the three most essential pieces of information to make this type of dating work. As a couple, we really wanted our profile to shine, to stand out and attract the people we were most attracted to. So we took a lot of time talking to each other about these three questions before actually posting anything. As I sat propped up in our king bed with my laptop just thinking out loud, Keegan was packing his suitcase for a company trip. His flight was the next morning.
“What are we looking for?” I asked.
Keegan responded with a chuckle. “A Geisha to service us both on a regular basis!” We both laughed.
“That would be great, honey, but what do we really want? How should we approach this? Should we just think about what we each want, see what meshes, and go from there?” I asked naively.
Since Keegan is much older and therefore more experienced, he had been in this rodeo once or twice before. “Here is a pen and paper,” he said. “Write down every fantasy you’ve ever gotten off to.”
“OK, but why? And will you do the same?” I asked.
“No, I just want some material for the trip,” he said laughing as I playfully tapped him on the arm.
“I already know what I want for myself and for us as a couple.” Keegan continued. “I know what to expect versus the reality of obtaining it without too much hassle. However, we as a couple have never done this before, so we need to iron out how well our desires mesh individually and together. The fantasies you’ll be writing down are just a small peek inside how we can make this work for both of us.”
I thought that made sense, so I began writing. It took some time, but by the time I finished, there was about a page full of fantasies. Keegan leaned in to kiss me. I quickly flipped the paper over and smiled. “We will need to discuss this another time and not right before you leave for a week,” I said.
“Nervous, Viv? It’s OK, you can tell me anything. You already know most of my freaky little quirks. Now it’s time we explore more of yours and allow you to evolve into the sexual goddess you’re meant to be,” Keegan said while running his finger across my chest as he stood by the edge of the bed.
“You’re joking, right?” I quipped, before pulling him onto the bed and undoing his pants. The laptop and list were shoved aside while we got busy. This was a whole new side of Keegan that I had rarely seen. We’ve briefly discussed things through the years, but it’s never been as serious as this. His encouraging words about me controlling my own sexual desires were freeing—and a stark contrast from the person I thought I was expected to be for him. For the longest time I had felt trapped playing the role of the wife, the mother, and the prude, thanks to our previous living arrangement at his parents’ house. To be encouraged in such a supporting and loving way really made my confidence and sexual appetite soar.
But all of that was about to change.