How to Convince Your Rich, Older Fiancé to Let You Make All the Wedding Planning Decisions: Part 1

In less than 10 weeks, I was going to be walk­ing down the aisle with my older man, Kee­gan. I had won the bat­tle over where we would have our wedding—in Penn­syl­va­nia near my friends and fam­ily. Kee­gan wasn’t pleased at first, because he and his fam­ily wanted to have the wed­ding in D.C. But as usual, I got what I wanted.

I had hoped a smaller Penn­syl­va­nia wed­ding would cut down on the exten­sive guest list, too. Or so I thought. His par­ents blew a gas­ket when they found out what I had done. The deposit was non-refundable, so it was set. It put a kink in our rela­tion­ship, but it was worth the battle.

At that point, I began work­ing on my list of invi­ta­tions. I wanted a small and inti­mate wed­ding, so I restricted our wed­ding bud­get to about $6,500. Not because we had to, but because I didn’t want it to be a spec­ta­cle. His par­ents were irate about that as well. I refused to allow them to pay for any­thing either, but they went behind my back and paid for my cakes.

My mother designed all of the cen­ter­pieces and silk flower bou­quets that myself and the brides­maids car­ried. I requested silk flow­ers, because I wanted to be able to keep and reuse the bou­quet and cen­ter­pieces. It was eco­nom­i­cal and they wouldn’t wilt. But of course, his fam­ily looked down on that—they said it wasn’t “classy enough.”

Their com­ments didn’t slow me down, but they did hurt. I vented and raged about it to my best friend and con­fi­dant Laura. She lis­tened care­fully and was a neu­tral party in the whole ordeal; when it came down to it, she had my back and our best inter­ests at heart. Despite the push­back from Keegan’s fam­ily, I had fully taken over my wed­ding plan­ning. I orches­trated a cookie table, cakes, flow­ers, dec­o­ra­tions, and the venue, and the invi­ta­tions were sent to about 200 people.

The “hens” on Keegan’s side of the fam­ily were a bit miffed that I did every­thing on my own, but he later told me that despite their dis­ap­point­ment, they were actu­ally impressed, because they didn’t think some­one so young would be able to man­age plan­ning a nice wed­ding, tak­ing care of a baby, and work­ing full-time.

We were about four weeks out from the wed­ding when I decided to try on the dress I had bought right after we got engaged. It didn’t fit. I had lost too much weight every­where except my boobs—my boobs were big­ger than they had ever been. You can’t let out mate­r­ial that was never taken in. So, I had to buy a new dress.

This started a whole new argu­ment, because the med­dling monster-in-law had pur­chased a nice dress for the baby that was kind of sim­i­lar to my orig­i­nal wed­ding dress. That meant that I would be con­fined to just one type, color, and sheen of a dress in order for it to look right.

Well need­less to say, that didn’t hap­pen. Money wasn’t an issue, but because I had learned to live fru­gally and enjoy lux­u­ries in the right ways, I headed straight for the clear­ance rack at David’s Bridal. The shop clerk showed me a few dresses, but noth­ing was quite what I had in mind. Then, at the very back of the store, some­thing sud­denly caught my eye…

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About Vivian

I am 26 and my husband 45. At first, our friendship existed mostly online. I was actually helping my now husband with his dating profile when it dawned on me that he was exactly what I was looking for in a perfect life partner. So, I asked him out and we have been together ever since. We now have two daughters together and everyone that knows us will tell you that they simply can’t imagine us apart, and neither can we. I’m no stranger to May-December relationships—my father was 71 and my mother was 33 when I was born. I have never dated a guy my own age. Anything less than 10 years older than me just seems wrong, and frankly, it doesn’t even turn me on in the slightest bit to think about it. It’s actually a turn-off. After going through relationships with a few rich older men, I finally settled down with my husband. I’m sure there were people waging bets on how quickly our marriage would fall apart, but we’re determined to prove them all wrong.