How to Find Your Conscience When You’re Sleeping with Another Woman’s Husband

It was dur­ing the trip to visit my sugar daddy, Keith, in Eng­land that I got to know a lot more about him. Although by then we had been see­ing each other for over a year, I still didn’t know much about what I really wanted to know. My emo­tions were now invested in this man, and even though I would not want him to leave his wife, I wanted to know what was going to hap­pen to us. At this point, I was not see­ing any­one else—yet.

He started out by say­ing, “Don’t feel guilty, as I don’t.” He con­tin­ued. “Eva knows what I’m up to. She men­tioned it the last time I was back at home and I couldn’t deny it. You’re not the first woman I’ve cheated on her with. There have been quite a few over the years because she and I were never com­pat­i­ble. It’s just that you’re the first one that she sees that I’m in love with.”

Keith went on to tell me that his wife thought he had changed and asked him to leave me. “I told her I can’t,” he said. “I truly can’t, because I have never loved any­one as much as you. You are well beyond your years and I feel like I am finally living.”

Did I hear him cor­rectly? My heart was pound­ing and I felt ill. There I was think­ing that this woman had no clue about us and then he’s con­fess­ing to me that she knows every­thing. He jolted me even more when he said, “I told her she can have everything.”

You told her she can have every­thing?” I blurted. “Does that mean you are plan­ning on leav­ing her?”

It’s all up to her,” he replied.

I was angry and shocked. How dare he not tell me what had gone on! That night, we argued for the first time in our rela­tion­ship and I asked him to leave by pack­ing his stuff and putting them in the hall­way. The rest of that night was long and hard. I felt so betrayed. I was not the first woman he had been with other than his wife, but I was the first one he refused to let go of. The thing with me is that I can have an affair as long as no one will find out and no one will get hurt. His wife had found out. She was get­ting hurt and that had gone to my conscience.

One day passed and we didn’t speak—that has never hap­pened before—but I ignored his phone calls. I needed a bit more time to think of what to do, as I felt he should have dis­cussed what his plans were ahead of time. A part of me wished he had let me go rather than tell her that he’s in love with me and that he was fine with her leav­ing; I would have been dis­ap­pointed, but she was his wife.

He came back the fol­low­ing night after I had calmed down. We spoke about it and actu­ally ended up laugh­ing at the fact that I threw him out. He con­vinced me that she was not the kind of per­son who would want a con­fronta­tion, so I had noth­ing to worry about.