Is This the Secret to a Happy Relationship?

Secret to a Happy RelationshipFor the longest time, get­ting mar­ried and hav­ing kids was regarded as the nor­mal course of a relationship—it’s just what you were expected to do and it was seen as the only real way to gain a sense of ful­fill­ment in life. But times have changed, as more and more cou­ples are now choos­ing common-law over mar­riage and opt­ing out of hav­ing kids.

When it comes to sugar daddy/sugar baby dat­ing, the topic of kids is always a pre­car­i­ous one—if you’re dat­ing a much older man, it’s often the case that kids are out of the ques­tion, because he’s either already fathered kids and doesn’t want any more, or he’s never wanted kids and isn’t about to change his mind now. A lot of peo­ple may not under­stand why a young, healthy woman would want to give up her chances of being a mother by dat­ing an older man, but new research out of the U.K. proves that not hav­ing kids can actu­ally be good for your relationship.

The study found that cou­ples who don’t have kids reported feel­ing more sat­is­fied with the state of their rela­tion­ship, and the results were con­sis­tent for both men and women. When com­pared against those who didn’t have kids, child­less cou­ples also felt more val­ued by their sig­nif­i­cant other and invested more time and effort to “main­tain” the rela­tion­ship by doing things like going out together and just talking.

So, dat­ing an older man and skip­ping out on hav­ing kids isn’t all bad; how­ever, the study also uncov­ered a big down­side that’s impor­tant to take into con­sid­er­a­tion. While child­less women were more sat­is­fied with their rela­tion­ship, they were the least happy with their lives over­all. Moth­ers, on the other hand, were the group who reported feel­ing the hap­pi­est with their life.

These find­ings really drive the point home about how impor­tant com­mu­ni­ca­tion is in a May-December rela­tion­ship, or any rela­tion­ship for that mat­ter, and espe­cially when it has to do with some­thing like kids. You need to be open and hon­est about what you want and what you expect out of the rela­tion­ship. If you think you might want kids some­day, but your older man is com­pletely against it, it’s only a mat­ter of time before that dif­fer­ence comes between you. And the last thing you want is to look back on your life and have regrets.

What do you think: Would you give up hav­ing kids to be with your older man?

Bing­ham, J., “Hap­pier rela­tion­ships for cou­ples with­out chil­dren,” The Syd­ney Morn­ing Her­ald, Jan­u­ary 14, 2014;