It turned out that what I had what was called a partial molar pregnancy, where the fetus forms but can’t survive because it doesn’t have the right genetic makeup. The condition in and of itself comes with a whole new set of problems.
Three weeks later, I ended up needing a second procedure to remove the fetus, because the first one failed to get everything, causing my body to go into cycles of pain that nothing could ease. Keegan held me for hours trying to help, but nothing worked. Because of this, we were not allowed to try getting pregnant again before six months’ worth of weekly blood tests to make sure that the cells left behind didn’t turn into cancer.
Keegan was beside himself with grief. Not only did he find out that we lost what would have been his son, but he also faced the risk of having to deal with his young wife having cancer. He consulted with my counselor a couple times, just to make sure that what he was experiencing was normal.
According to the doctors, everything we had gone through was normal; everything we were experiencing was normal for us, for the loss we just endured. So, when I was ready, I went back to work. About two days back on the job I realized there was a position open that offered better scheduling for our family, so I applied and was promoted within four days. The alternative schedule allowed me to be home with our child while she was awake and work while she was either sleeping or when Keegan was able to be home with her. Spending time with our firstborn was the only way I would get through the grief of my miscarriage.
Keegan and I figured this new work schedule would be ideal for raising our kids over the next couple of years, but it meant no social life. Working weekends has been the norm for me ever since. The shifts are 12 hours on the weekends and there are two eight-hour day shifts during the week. Then I’m off for three days straight. Since I had to work (for my own sanity), this was a much better arrangement. Plus, the boss I would be working under was a parent himself, which made a world of difference.