Age is a many-splendored thing—especially if it’s a May-December romance!
When people talk about a “May-December romance,” they’re referring to a romantic relationship where the woman is dating a much older man. If their lives were a calendar, she would be in the “May” of her life, and he would be in the “December” of his.
Regardless of the age difference, all successful relationships have their ups and downs, advantages and disadvantages. Sure, May-December relationships have their unique challenges, but for the most part, they’re the same as every non-May-December romance. You have similar interests and hobbies, enjoy doing the same things, and fight about the same things: money, sex, communication, social activities, friends, jobs, jealousy, etc.
That doesn’t mean there won’t be outside forces that make you question the May-December romance, because you’ll undoubtedly face questions, stares, and judgment.
While a May-December relationship may look strange to those looking in, it’s important to remember that you’re not in the relationship to please others. Relationships are about finding that someone you connect with—your puzzle piece. Even if you happen to like Green Day and he likes Doris Day, once you find each other, there’s no turning back.
In fact, your fabulously incredible May-December romance could be making others take a hard look at their own situations, questioning their understanding and attitudes about love, aging, family, and commitment.
In an effort to validate their own relationship, others may even begin questioning what “normal” looks like. Is being in a relationship with a peer the lone judgment call for what constitutes “normal?” Of course not! Relationships are more complicated than any one issue, and the age gap is just one of the many ingredients playing a part in whether or not your relationship works!
And for some younger women, older is always going to be better.
There are many benefits to being involved in a May-December romance: he is emotionally mature and provides stability and safety; with age comes experience; and he is more selfless, patient, and forgiving. These are all traits sorely lacking in men your own age. Thanks to the age gap, you two are also at different stages in life, meaning you can inspire, motivate, and learn from each other.
Just like any other relationship, a May-December romance either thrives or fails depending on how much work the two of you are willing to put into it. An age gap does present challenges not present in other relationships.
Being in a May-December relationship may have its challenges, but ultimately, it teaches us to pay attention to what matters the most: “Do you connect?” “Is he kind to you?” “Does he respect you?” “Do you love you?” If the answer to all of these is “yes,” then nothing else matters.