Money, Kids, and Sex—Why Younger Women Date Rich, Older Men: Part 1

When I first started dat­ing my older man, only a few peo­ple knew about my May-December rela­tion­ship. He is 23 years older than me, and when peo­ple find out, they tend to be very judg­men­tal, so I usu­ally get a lot of awk­ward ques­tions. Also, I’ve been told that a May-December rela­tion­ship is a recipe for trou­ble, which isn’t always true. Peo­ple just tend to jump to con­clu­sions because they don’t know any dif­fer­ent. So, here are a few of the ques­tions I fre­quently get asked about being with an older man. The answers are per­sonal and a lit­tle embar­rass­ing, but they’re com­pletely true.

Is he rich? Are you only dat­ing him for his money?

Hon­estly, how do you tell some­one, who knows for a fact that your older lover has money, that you’re attracted to more than just his wal­let? I’ve known my boss, who’s also my older boyfriend, for more than seven years. I know he has a great per­son­al­ity, comes from a good back­ground, and can make any­one laugh. While it works in my favor that he’s gen­er­ous with his money, his pock­ets aren’t the rea­son that I’m with him—it’s him as a person.

What do you have in com­mon? He’s almost 25 years older than you.

As with all rela­tion­ships, hav­ing com­mon inter­ests is impor­tant. Peo­ple don’t under­stand that just because my man is older, he’s not old. We do like a lot of the same music, we like movies, and we like doing things out­doors. These are things that any­one would have in com­mon, regard­less of their age dif­fer­ence. We don’t need to go to Bingo with the old folks to have a good time. My older man also likes to dance, which I love. He’s very up on trends and knows how to use a com­puter and cell phone—that’s all I need.

What about kids—does he have or want them? Have you met his, or has he met yours? Is he even able to have any kids?

This one doesn’t apply to my older man, since he doesn’t have any chil­dren of his own. How­ever, I do. I haven’t yet intro­duced the kids to him as my “boyfriend,” but a lot of peo­ple ask, “Won’t your kids think of him as a grandpa?” It’s your choice as to when and how you get them to meet. With regards to hav­ing kids together, his age doesn’t really mat­ter. Char­lie Chap­lin, for exam­ple, had a child at age 73. Unlike women, men do not have lim­its on their fertility.

There a few other, more per­sonal ques­tions about why younger women are so drawn to rich, older men…