My Sugar Daddy Suddenly Broke Up with Me—What Went Wrong?

QUESTION: For the first time in my life, I tried being a sugar baby. I was dat­ing this older man for almost a year and a half and I thought things were going great, until he ran­domly told me last week that he wanted to break up with me. When I asked him why, he just said that our rela­tion­ship had “run its course” and it was time to move on. I couldn’t help but feel like I was just being used until some­thing bet­ter came along for him. Is this nor­mal behav­ior for a sugar daddy, or did some­thing go wrong?

CHELSEA SAYS: Sorry to break it to you, but I think the only abnor­mal thing about this breakup is that it didn’t hap­pen sooner. Your sugar daddy is obvi­ously not look­ing for a long-term arrange­ment, and because you’re new to the sugar baby game, I can’t really blame you at all for not know­ing that. Besides, your sugar daddy should have made that very clear at the very start of your rela­tion­ship. That’s one of the unspo­ken rules of sugar daddy/sugar baby rela­tion­ships, to make your expec­ta­tions known early on so that you’re both on the same page with regards to the dynam­ics of your relationship.

The truth is, a lot of sugar dad­dies aren’t look­ing for a com­mit­ted relationship—if they were they would have a girl­friend or wife, not a sugar baby. That’s just the nature of the arrange­ment, so try not to take it per­son­ally. I real­ize it can be hard to just shake it off and move on after over a year together—no one likes being dumped—but that’s really all you can do. Con­sider it a les­son learned; now you know bet­ter for next time, if you decide to try being with another sugar daddy.

Keep in mind that being a sugar baby isn’t for every­one. If you can’t han­dle the sting of being let go by a sugar daddy at a moment’s notice, maybe you’re just not cut out for the lifestyle. And there’s absolutely noth­ing wrong with that. Hey, at the end of the day, at least you (hope­fully) got some great gifts out of the relationship.

TRENT SAYS: In most cases, this is nor­mal behav­ior for a sugar daddy, at least more tra­di­tional sugar dad­dies. And by that, I mean most old-school sugar dad­dies opt for a rela­tion­ship that has strict, non-committal, but mutu­ally sat­is­fy­ing boundaries.

Most sugar baby/sugar daddy rela­tion­ships are based on hav­ing fun; yet despite all the good times, they can also be devoid of any real emo­tional attach­ment. When it comes to steer­ing the rela­tion­ship, the sugar daddy is usu­ally at the helm, and when he’s no longer hav­ing fun, he’ll want to cast his atten­tion elsewhere.

This can be a sad real­iza­tion for a new sugar baby whose rela­tion­ship has, as your sugar daddy so inelo­quently put it, “run its course.” It goes to show that even if a sugar baby tends to her sugar daddy’s every whim and need, he can still get bored. That’s a reflec­tion of him, of course, not you.

From the out­set, it’s impor­tant for a sugar baby to under­stand what the bound­aries and expec­ta­tions are in her rela­tion­ship with a sugar daddy. Some sugar daddy/sugar baby rela­tion­ships evolve into long-term rela­tion­ships, but most don’t.

So, is this nor­mal behav­ior for a sugar daddy? In most cases, it is. At the same time, if you enjoyed the sugar baby lifestyle, it’s impor­tant to remem­ber that there are always sugar dad­dies out there who are either look­ing to find a new sugar baby, or who are enter­ing the sugar daddy lifestyle for the first time.

  • Louis E.

    I have to say I don’t get the ter­mi­nol­ogy that accords “sugar” to both partners.To me,the “sugar” is the finan­cial backing…the “sugar daddy” is the older man who pays for the girl’s lifestyle,while a “sugar baby” would be a young heiress financ­ing an older man.One part­ner has “sugar” and the other needs it!