QUESTION: For the first time in my life, I tried being a sugar baby. I was dating this older man for almost a year and a half and I thought things were going great, until he randomly told me last week that he wanted to break up with me. When I asked him why, he just said that our relationship had “run its course” and it was time to move on. I couldn’t help but feel like I was just being used until something better came along for him. Is this normal behavior for a sugar daddy, or did something go wrong?
CHELSEA SAYS: Sorry to break it to you, but I think the only abnormal thing about this breakup is that it didn’t happen sooner. Your sugar daddy is obviously not looking for a long-term arrangement, and because you’re new to the sugar baby game, I can’t really blame you at all for not knowing that. Besides, your sugar daddy should have made that very clear at the very start of your relationship. That’s one of the unspoken rules of sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships, to make your expectations known early on so that you’re both on the same page with regards to the dynamics of your relationship.
The truth is, a lot of sugar daddies aren’t looking for a committed relationship—if they were they would have a girlfriend or wife, not a sugar baby. That’s just the nature of the arrangement, so try not to take it personally. I realize it can be hard to just shake it off and move on after over a year together—no one likes being dumped—but that’s really all you can do. Consider it a lesson learned; now you know better for next time, if you decide to try being with another sugar daddy.
Keep in mind that being a sugar baby isn’t for everyone. If you can’t handle the sting of being let go by a sugar daddy at a moment’s notice, maybe you’re just not cut out for the lifestyle. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Hey, at the end of the day, at least you (hopefully) got some great gifts out of the relationship.
TRENT SAYS: In most cases, this is normal behavior for a sugar daddy, at least more traditional sugar daddies. And by that, I mean most old-school sugar daddies opt for a relationship that has strict, non-committal, but mutually satisfying boundaries.
Most sugar baby/sugar daddy relationships are based on having fun; yet despite all the good times, they can also be devoid of any real emotional attachment. When it comes to steering the relationship, the sugar daddy is usually at the helm, and when he’s no longer having fun, he’ll want to cast his attention elsewhere.
This can be a sad realization for a new sugar baby whose relationship has, as your sugar daddy so ineloquently put it, “run its course.” It goes to show that even if a sugar baby tends to her sugar daddy’s every whim and need, he can still get bored. That’s a reflection of him, of course, not you.
From the outset, it’s important for a sugar baby to understand what the boundaries and expectations are in her relationship with a sugar daddy. Some sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships evolve into long-term relationships, but most don’t.
So, is this normal behavior for a sugar daddy? In most cases, it is. At the same time, if you enjoyed the sugar baby lifestyle, it’s important to remember that there are always sugar daddies out there who are either looking to find a new sugar baby, or who are entering the sugar daddy lifestyle for the first time.