One Simple Trick for a Stronger May-December Relationship (and Incredible Sex)

There’s no doubt that sex­ual chem­istry is a top pri­or­ity for a lot of cou­ples in a May-December rela­tion­ship, but what hap­pens after sex is appar­ently just as impor­tant for suc­cess­ful rela­tion­ships as what hap­pens dur­ing sex.

A new two-part study from the Uni­ver­sity of Toronto has found that cou­ples who spend more time after sex cud­dling and being affec­tion­ate with one another tend to feel more sat­is­fied about their sex lives and their rela­tion­ships. The data was col­lected from 335 women and men who com­pleted a lengthy online sur­vey, and then another 101 cou­ples who com­pleted a daily sur­vey for 21 days.

In the first part of the sex study, the dura­tion of affec­tion after sex was linked to an increase in sex­ual and rela­tion­ship sat­is­fac­tion. In the sec­ond part of the study, the find­ings revealed a link between both the qual­ity and the length of post-sex affec­tion to both part­ners’ level of sat­is­fac­tion. The researchers checked back in with the cou­ples three months later and found that they were still more sat­is­fied with their rela­tion­ships and their sex lives thanks to post-coital affection.

When it comes to sex in May-December rela­tion­ships, a lot of cou­ples end up spend­ing too much time focus­ing on the end result. We’re not say­ing that’s a bad thing, but in being too orgasm-centric, you and your older man might be miss­ing out on the fun in fore­play and cud­dling after doing the deed—these are things that add inti­macy to rela­tion­ships, and they can help to bring you and your older man closer together.

In fact, your body releases the oxy­tocin hor­mone when you’re sex­u­ally stimulated—that’s one of the rea­sons why it feels so good—but these feel-good hor­mones that are released dur­ing sex can actu­ally linger longer if you and your older man kiss, spoon, or snug­gle after sex, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

So, long story short, if you really want to improve your sex life and develop your May-December rela­tion­ship, it’s impor­tant to pay atten­tion to your older man (and make sure he pays atten­tion to you) before, dur­ing, and espe­cially after sex.

What do you think: Does cud­dling after sex improve your May-December relationship?


Muise, A., et al., “Post Sex Affec­tion­ate Exchanges Pro­mote Sex­ual and Rela­tion­ship Sat­is­fac­tion,” Archives of Sex­ual Behav­ior 2014; doi: 10.1007/s10508-014‑0305-3.

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About Francine K

I first met Alfred when I was 38 and he was 63, on an Internet chat site. I really didn't think this was a datable person, but a wonderful friendship developed. We became chat buddies for a while and connected so well on so many levels, we decided to meet in person. We live 100 miles apart, but that has never gotten in the way of us spending time together. A passionate relationship soon grew, and oh what an amazing lover. I had some reservations about getting too involved: our age difference is 25 years, and we are in different phases in our lives; in fact he has a daughter who is older than I am. I have 2 teenage sons, a career, was building my first home, and he’s retired, owns his home, lives alone, takes a nap during the day, and enjoys a slow-paced lifestyle. I am still ambitious and will soon have the empty nest to go start my own life, as my sons are nearly independent. There is no way I want to sit down and have a retired lifestyle yet. We’ve shared a beautiful, passionate friendship for many years together. We’ve never really figured out how to plan a future together, though.