“Vivian, get up! It’s time for work… Vivian…” No answer. “Vivian?” Keegan said, shaking me gently. I wasn’t waking up. Keegan spent the next 20 minutes trying to rouse me at 6 a.m. to get ready for work. By the time I finally woke up, I was most definitely going to be late and Keegan was very concerned; I had never had a problem before with getting up in the morning.
“Why don’t you take the day and rest up,” said Keegan. “Clearly you are very exhausted.”
I smiled and fell back asleep before he even left the room. I woke up around noon in a panic, not sure what the heck was going on. I called Keegan asking him why he hadn’t woken me up, completely forgetting what had happened that morning. He told me that he tried and even left me a hot coffee at my bedside. I started to get worried—I had no idea what was happening to me.
As I was sitting on my front porches listening to him tell me what happened that morning, it dawned on me—I never had a period that month.
I quickly hung up the phone, showered, got dressed, and drove to the pharmacy. There I was again, purchasing more pregnancy tests, and I couldn’t help but think back to the heartbreak of losing our first child in a miscarriage. For a brief moment, I wanted to put everything back on the shelves and convince myself that my body just wasn’t used to having so much sex, or that I had overworked my body rearranging furniture, or any excuse except that I might be pregnant again and so soon.
After checking out at the pharmacy, I grabbed some McDonalds and headed straight home. I didn’t feel right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Anxiety, maybe? Nerves? Excitement? Fear? It was hard to say.
Keegan and I weren’t actively trying for kids, but we weren’t preventing pregnancy either. We loved having raunchy unprotected sex with each other, and weren’t particularly concerned either way if I wound up pregnant or not.
As soon as I got home, I took the pregnancy test—it was negative. I took a few more, but they all came out with the same result—I wasn’t pregnant.
To be honest, I was a little sad that it was negative, but a little relieved, too. I still couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t quite right, so we decided to just lay low for a few days and not have sex. We also avoided alcohol and just relaxed around the house. We had been doing so much that it was time for a break from all the heavy lifting—I figured that maybe after some rest, my body would bounce back to normal.