Read This First If You’re Considering Moving In with Someone Before You’re Married: Part 2

Vivian, get up! It’s time for work… Vivian…” No answer. “Vivian?” Kee­gan said, shak­ing me gen­tly. I wasn’t wak­ing up. Kee­gan spent the next 20 min­utes try­ing to rouse me at 6 a.m. to get ready for work. By the time I finally woke up, I was most def­i­nitely going to be late and Kee­gan was very con­cerned; I had never had a prob­lem before with get­ting up in the morning.

Why don’t you take the day and rest up,” said Kee­gan. “Clearly you are very exhausted.”

I smiled and fell back asleep before he even left the room. I woke up around noon in a panic, not sure what the heck was going on. I called Kee­gan ask­ing him why he hadn’t woken me up, com­pletely for­get­ting what had hap­pened that morn­ing. He told me that he tried and even left me a hot cof­fee at my bed­side. I started to get worried—I had no idea what was hap­pen­ing to me.

As I was sit­ting on my front porches lis­ten­ing to him tell me what hap­pened that morn­ing, it dawned on me—I never had a period that month.

I quickly hung up the phone, show­ered, got dressed, and drove to the phar­macy. There I was again, pur­chas­ing more preg­nancy tests, and I couldn’t help but think back to the heart­break of los­ing our first child in a mis­car­riage. For a brief moment, I wanted to put every­thing back on the shelves and con­vince myself that my body just wasn’t used to hav­ing so much sex, or that I had over­worked my body rear­rang­ing fur­ni­ture, or any excuse except that I might be preg­nant again and so soon.

After check­ing out at the phar­macy, I grabbed some McDon­alds and headed straight home. I didn’t feel right, but I couldn’t put my fin­ger on it. Anx­i­ety, maybe? Nerves? Excite­ment? Fear? It was hard to say.

Kee­gan and I weren’t actively try­ing for kids, but we weren’t pre­vent­ing preg­nancy either. We loved hav­ing raunchy unpro­tected sex with each other, and weren’t par­tic­u­larly con­cerned either way if I wound up preg­nant or not.

As soon as I got home, I took the preg­nancy test—it was neg­a­tive. I took a few more, but they all came out with the same result—I wasn’t pregnant.

To be hon­est, I was a lit­tle sad that it was neg­a­tive, but a lit­tle relieved, too. I still couldn’t shake the feel­ing that some­thing wasn’t quite right, so we decided to just lay low for a few days and not have sex. We also avoided alco­hol and just relaxed around the house. We had been doing so much that it was time for a break from all the heavy lifting—I fig­ured that maybe after some rest, my body would bounce back to normal.