Should I Be Offended That My Sugar Daddy Gifted Me Plastic Surgery?

QUESTION: Instead of a tra­di­tional Christ­mas gift this year, my sugar daddy offered to pay for any plas­tic surgery pro­ce­dure of my choice. I’m not against plas­tic surgery or any­thing, but should I be offended?

CHELSEA SAYS: Believe it or not, your sugar daddy isn’t too much off the mark with this one. There was actu­ally a sur­vey recently that found that when it comes to gifts, the one thing sugar babies want most is plas­tic surgery. You can read more about it here. Maybe your sugar daddy just did his research?

But going back to your ques­tion, I think this is one of those things you really have to look at in con­text. If you’ve been com­plain­ing about some­thing you aren’t happy with about your body, then maybe this is a gift he thinks you’ll really want, in which case, there’s no rea­son to feel offended. In fact, you should be happy that your sugar daddy lis­tens to you and wants to give you a gift that makes you happy.

On the other hand, if your sugar daddy has been com­plain­ing about some­thing, it might be more of a gift for him than for you. If this is the case, he might be try­ing to give you a sub­tle hint, and I wouldn’t blame you for feel­ing insulted.

If this plas­tic surgery gift is com­pletely out of the blue, I can under­stand why you’d be con­fused. But if that’s the case, I don’t think he intended to offend you. If he had been spe­cific about which pro­ce­dure he wanted to gift you, say a boob job or lipo­suc­tion, then I’d be a lit­tle more con­cerned, because that could be his way of telling you that it’s some­thing he thinks you need to get fixed. But if he’s let­ting you choose what you want to do, it sounds more like an inno­cent gift. Besides, he knows plas­tic surgery is expen­sive, so if your sugar daddy can’t get it for you, who will?

Like I said, this really depends on the con­text and dynamic of your rela­tion­ship. At the end of the day, you shouldn’t have to change for him just because he wants you to. So, if it really makes you uncom­fort­able, or if you feel like your sugar daddy doesn’t appre­ci­ate you for who you are (or what you look like), then talk to him about it. Just tell him politely that you appre­ci­ate the gift, but it’s just not some­thing you see your­self using right now. If he really cares about you, he’ll under­stand. If he doesn’t under­stand, well, then you kind of have your answer.

TRENT SAYS: In days of yore, a sugar baby might be happy find­ing a ten­nis bracelet or a pair of Chris­t­ian Louboutin shoes wrapped under the Christ­mas tree. But those sim­pler days are gone. Today, more and more women are ask­ing for plas­tic surgery.

Last year, plas­tic sur­geons per­formed 14.6 mil­lion pro­ce­dures in the U.S. alone. That rep­re­sents an 85% increase from a decade ago. And, thanks to our obses­sion with looks, I doubt those num­bers are going to fall any time soon.

Now, granted it sounds like you didn’t ask for any pro­ce­dures, so that raises a cou­ple issues. Maybe your sugar daddy over­heard you say­ing some­thing about your appear­ance, and in an effort to show he’s lis­ten­ing, decided to gift you a facial peel, Botox, or plas­tic surgery instead of the tra­di­tional bot­tle of wine or lingerie?

On the other hand, there is the chance you didn’t say any­thing and you are quite happy and con­tent with the way you look. In this case, you can politely tell him thanks, but no thanks. Or, go out on a limb and ask him if there’s some­thing he thinks you should change about your­self. If he’s smart, he’ll say no.

You could tell him you’d rather exchange that gift for some­thing else. Price out a boob job and trans­fer his kind­ness to another store of your choosing.

In the end, it’s the thought that counts. Sadly, that say­ing gets mis­in­ter­preted. It doesn’t mean, “Hey, at least I thought of some­thing.” No! It means, “I know you well enough that I thought of some­thing that shows you I’m lis­ten­ing and you will appreciate.”

So, in the end, I’d say, don’t be offended. But don’t be afraid to trade it in if you’d like.