QUESTION: My older man’s daughter is getting married in a couple months and I wasn’t invited to the wedding. He and I have been together for just over six months now, and I thought I was getting along pretty well with his two kids. They were a little skeptical about our 25-year age difference when we first started dating, but she seemed to be fine with it as our relationship progressed. So, I can’t help but feel snubbed, especially because she’s been talking a lot about the wedding around me, but has made no mention of the fact that I’m not even on the guest list. I mentioned it to my older man briefly, but he didn’t think it was that big of a deal, so I just dropped it. But it still really bothers me. Am I overreacting? Should I be worried about my relationship?
CHELSEA SAYS: May-December relationships are always trickier when there’s kids involved. I don’t really blame you for feeling left out, especially because you and your older man have been together for a few months. But, in the grand scheme of things, six months really isn’t that long.
As I’m sure you can imagine, your older man’s daughter wants her wedding day to be absolutely perfect. And I’m guessing the reason, or at least one of the reasons, she chose to exclude her father’s new sugar baby from the guest list is because she still isn’t 100% convinced that your relationship is the real deal—since it’s only been six months, she might still feel like her dad’s new younger girlfriend is just a phase and that you won’t be around long enough to warrant being part of her wedding.
Plus, the wedding will be filled with her closest friends and family, including your older man’s ex. His daughter might just be avoiding what is bound to be an awkward situation at the wedding. Her dad showing up with a new woman who is 25 years younger might take some of the attention away from her.
I don’t think you’re overreacting, but I also don’t think it’s worth kicking up a fuss over. I don’t think you need to be worried about your relationship. If that what’s really bothering you, then have a chat with your older man, just to make sure things are still good on his end and to rule out the possibility that your invite just got lost in the mail or something.
But if it turns out that you’re really not invited, try not to be bitter about it. Still show his daughter support and still offer to help her plan the wedding in any way you can, even though you might be burning inside. It’ll just show her that you’re mature and that you genuinely care about her father and his family, and she’ll probably start taking your relationship more seriously.
TRENT SAYS: I don’t think you’re overreacting. You simply want to know what’s going on and how you fit into his family dynamic.
It doesn’t sound like you need to be worried about your relationship with your sugar daddy. Your relationship with his daughter might be a little strained. Or is it? Has she told you explicitly that you aren’t invited to the wedding? Maybe she just presumes you’ll be going along as her dad’s “plus one.”
Or, it’s quite possible that she doesn’t want to rock the boat on one of the biggest days of her life. I presume her mother (your sugar daddy’s ex) is going to be there? His daughter might see that as creating an awkward situation and may just want to keep the peace. And for her, it sounds like it’s more important to keep the peace between her parents on her wedding day than it is to accommodate you, which is kind of understandable.
I’m pretty sure you’d want to make her day as special as possible too. And, unfortunately, that might mean you staying at home. Barring your inability to read her mind, you may want to be upfront with her about it and ask her what’s up. You might also want to chat with your sugar daddy and ask him why he didn’t resolve this situation for you himself and find out the answer. It might not be a big deal to him, but it’s clearly an issue for you, and he needs to pay attention to how his sugar baby is feeling.
Whether you’re invited or not, find out where she’s registered.