Should I Make a Sex Tape with My Sugar Daddy?

QUESTION: My boyfriend’s birth­day is com­ing up in a cou­ple weeks and when I asked him what he wants for his gift this year, he told me that he wants us to make a sex tape together—apparently it’s some­thing he’s always fan­ta­sized about. He assured me that it would just be for the two of us to see, and I do trust him. But I’m still a bit cam­era shy. What do you think?

CHELSEA SAYS: Oh my, someone’s got a pretty kinky man on their hands. Usu­ally, I’m all for a lit­tle exper­i­ment­ing in the bed­room, but when it comes to mak­ing a sex tape, that’s more of a gray area for me. While I’m not entirely against putting your sex life on cam­era, there are a few things to be con­cerned about.

First of all, you say you trust your boyfriend, but do you trust him enough not to turn against you if the rela­tion­ship goes sour? He may be all sweet and trust­ing now, but there’s no guar­an­tee that that sex tape won’t be sent to any­one and every­one once your rela­tion­ship ends.

My other con­cern might be a lit­tle shal­lower, but it’s still valid. Are you pre­pared to see your­self on screen in all your glory? I have a cou­ple of girl­friends who have done the sex tape thing, and their first reac­tion to watch­ing them­selves in action was that it didn’t look like how they expected it would. That’s just some­thing to keep in mind if you do decide to actu­ally go through with it.

Speak­ing of going through with it, if you have to ques­tion whether or not to make this sex tape with your man, then you’re obvi­ously not 100% com­fort­able with doing it. Don’t do it just to make him happy—there are plenty of other naughty birth­day gifts you can give him instead that I’m sure he’ll appre­ci­ate. If you turn­ing down a sex tape will be a deal breaker for him, then you’re bet­ter off with­out him—no mature, suc­cess­ful man should ever pres­sure their lady, regard­less of the arrange­ment, to do any­thing they aren’t com­fort­able with.

Now, if you decide to go through with mak­ing a sex tape with your boyfriend, be smart about it. Make sure there’s only one copy. Watch it together, but make sure you keep it in your pos­ses­sion, NO MATTER WHAT. Don’t even lend it to him. In fact, store it some­where safe and don’t tell him where you’ve kept it. You want to keep that baby safe come hell or high water. Maybe you can take it out every year on his birth­day and relive it together. Or maybe, if it ends up being a hit, it’ll be the start of a series. In any case, just make sure that you’re in con­trol of the one and only copy.

TRENT SAYS: I’m not going to say the idea of mak­ing a sex tape isn’t tit­il­lat­ing. It’s also just fur­ther evi­dence that your man—or men in gen­eral, for that matter—are visual crea­tures. But, as the poten­tial star of the show, should you strip down and say, “Action,” or trust your fem­i­nine wiles?

In today’s day and age, the rise of ama­teur porn web sites, the risk of some­one hack­ing his com­puter, and even the advent of revenge porn sites are all cause for some con­cern. Even if your rela­tion­ship is rock solid, as long as you make a sex tape, there’s a chance it could get into the wrong hands.

At the same time, you could make a video with the under­stand­ing that you are in pos­ses­sion of it at all times. This means prop­ping a cam­era on a tri-pod—no cell phones. And, it should also be under­stood that you are in total con­trol of it. Mak­ing a home movie might actu­ally be a lot of fun. But since you’re tak­ing on a good por­tion of the risk, insist that your boyfriend play by your rules. I’m cer­tain he’d rather make an ama­teur movie with you that has some restric­tions than not make one at all.

If you’re still not totally con­vinced, you could always just do a photo shoot. Fuji still makes instant film cam­eras, and it’s not that hard to find a Polaroid cam­era in thrift stores these days. Give him five packs of film (that’s about 50 pic­tures) and have a fun after­noon. Although, again, the same stip­u­la­tion applies—you get to keep the pic­tures, and no, he can­not keep a copy, no mat­ter how much he begs.

There are a num­ber of ways you can give your boyfriend a great birth­day present, even if you are sit­ting on the fence. Err on the side of cau­tion and com­fort, and enjoy!