Victor showed up 20 minutes early; I was still in the shower when he rang the doorbell. Without thinking, I grabbed my towel and ran down the steps dripping wet. Thankfully, the towel was oversized so I was fully covered, but Victor’s jaw still dropped. I invited him inside and headed back up the steps to get dressed. He didn’t hear me telling him to wait in the living room and followed me up the steps instead, watching my every move.
I quickly got dressed in a summery skirt and tank in the spare bedroom, while Victor waited nearby in the computer room. He was visibly aroused, much larger than Marco, and clearly salivating at the thought of having sex with me. He immediately stood up and grabbed me by the waist when I entered the room, kissed me passionately. He picked me up without skipping a beat. Victor sat me on the computer table and from that point on, it was one of the most amazing sexual encounters of my life.
There was this handsome man, closer to my age, and absolutely nothing like any of the men I had ever dated titillating my senses, making me feel things I’ve never experienced before and have never felt since. The excitement, affection, intensity, and complete lack of regard for my relationship with Marco allowed me to be utterly uninhibited, free to enjoy and experience everything Victor had to offer. We spent hours making love all over the house, except in Marco’s actual bed.
After Victor left, I realized exactly what I had just done—aside from the obvious. I had finally “let go of the cliff” and it was time to figure out if I could “land on my feet.” From then on, my relationship with Marco was more transactional, like a mentor. He didn’t really seem to notice, and as it turned out, he had started another relationship with a third woman nearby named Michelle. He kept her a secret for a while, but left his e-mails open from time to time on my laptop—that’s how I discovered her. He had discussed our relationship with her, as though I was his child, but then admitted to having sex with me as often as he could, because it was exciting for him and he knew that our time was running out. Michelle, having raised a teenage daughter, actually sounded like she was giving my older lover parenting advice.
Despite knowing all this, there was just something about being with Marco that felt so comforting and safe, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was exactly. The only thing that kept coming to mind was the hurtful “daddy issues” comments that I had heard over the past year, but at the time, it meant nothing to me—I hadn’t put two and two together. It would be years to come before I finally connected the dots.