The $8,000 Mistake My Sugar Daddy Made Trying to Make Me Commit: Part 1

If sex with my older boyfriend, Patrick, was like the ele­phant in the liv­ing room, then the sub­ject of mar­riage was the dinosaur stand­ing next to it. Unlike many May-December rela­tion­ships where both peo­ple are com­fort­able just being together—or one, if not both, of them are already married—Patrick was dying to marry me.

At first, it was flat­ter­ing and, although I acted pleased, I tried to make light of it, change the sub­ject, or just tell him that it was far too early in our rela­tion­ship to con­sider mar­riage. That would work for a while, but inevitably, Patrick would bring it up again.

At this point in our rela­tion­ship, I was sure that our time together would be short. I was sure that I would move on and be with some­one more age-appropriate, some­one that I would want to have chil­dren with someday.

I was rent­ing an apart­ment in Chicago. It was a beau­ti­ful build­ing and I had panoramic views of Lake Michi­gan, Grant Park, and Michi­gan Avenue. The build­ing had great ameni­ties, includ­ing a pool, sports club, bar and restau­rant, and even an on-site masseuse. It was also a great place to meet peo­ple. Patrick didn’t like that.

One evening after work, we met for drinks and he asked me if I’d like to take a drive with him along the lakeshore and then have din­ner at this great seafood restau­rant. I thought it sounded like a ter­rific idea, so we got in his Mer­cedes and headed north toward the water. We stopped in Lake For­est, a beau­ti­ful sub­urb with a down­town area that looked like a lit­tle vil­lage. I had been there a few times with my girl­friends and always dreamed of maybe liv­ing there some­day to raise a family.

Patrick drove into a res­i­den­tial area and I was per­plexed because I knew that this was nowhere near the restau­rant. He pulled over to the curb and asked me what I thought of the neigh­bor­hood. I was already prepar­ing my speech on why I wouldn’t live with him, if that was what he was think­ing. It turns out that he had some­thing a lit­tle dif­fer­ent in mind…