When it comes right down to it, no one is immune to awkward moments while having sex, regardless of whether you’re into sugar daddy dating or you’re in a more traditional relationship. It’s inevitable that you and your sugar daddy (or future sugar daddy) are going to experience awkward moments while having sex, but the important thing is how you deal with them.
He’s…small: Your sugar daddy is rich, refined, cultured, and attentive…but when you saw it in all its glory for the first time, you were a wee bit disappointed. The solution isn’t what to do, but rather what not to do. Don’t be critical and keep your facial expressions in check. What should you do? Coo a little bit, grab him like you mean it, kiss him on the lips, and give him the ride of his life.
Passing gas: Did you know everyone passes gas roughly 15 to 25 times a day? Yes, even you. And the friction from having sex can increase gas. You know what else the friction of sex can do? Trap gas inside your nether region. That can lead to a noise that sounds a lot like passing gas. No matter where it comes from, it’s totally common. Depending on what kind of personalities you and your sugar daddy are, you can either ignore it or giggle about it. But there’s no reason to dwell on it or have it ruin the rhythm of the night (or day).
He can’t get it up: It can happen to almost anyone, really! Studies show that as many as 52% of men experience erectile dysfunction, including 40% of men aged 40 and 70% of men aged 70, which are prime sugar daddy years. So if your sugar daddy is getting up there in age, chances are good you’ll run into this scenario now and again. But it might have nothing to do with his age though. Other culprits could be alcohol, tiredness, nerves or stress, and medication—it might even be psychological. Instead of focusing on it or getting annoyed, switch gears; his package isn’t a light switch and changing your position or pace might do the trick. Maybe indulge in a little more foreplay, kiss, spoon naked, or snuggle. If it still isn’t happening and your sugar daddy gets discouraged, you could always talk about it—see if there’s anything the two of you can do together to make it better.
Your juices won’t flow: There are going to be times when it might take a little longer for you to be ready to do the deed with your sugar daddy, which can be painful. Whether you’re taking medication, not in the mood, or the foreplay is terrible, being too dry doesn’t necessarily have to mean no sex. A little dab of lubrication can go a long way. Make it part of the fun by letting your sugar daddy watch you apply it, or let him do it for you.
Aunt Flow comes to town early: Your body is tricky and while you like to think it works like clockwork, sometimes it doesn’t. If you get your period early, don’t freak out; it happens. You can move the action into the shower, but if you’re really not comfortable getting close when it’s that time of the month, there are other ways to be intimate. Give him a special treat down there, or cuddle—studies have shown that intimate gestures like cuddling and kissing actually improve relationship satisfaction.
Saying the wrong name: You’re having great sex with your sugar daddy, your hands are all over each other, and his moves are amazing. And then you moan the wrong name into his ear. It can happen. And more often than not, it’s probably a simple mistake. Even in our most bored, sober moments we can call our pets, friends, and kids by the wrong names. When you’re having sex, your senses can be overly stimulated and you’re more apt to speak without stopping to think. You can play dumb by saying something like, “Really? Did I?” or tell him you were overcome with passion and it was a fantasy laden slip of the tongue. Then remind him how much you really like him. If he has a really good sense of humor, ask him if he’d rather you were in bed with another man moaning his name? If your sugar daddy is the one saying the wrong name during sex, give him a chance to explain before freaking out. You can usually tell by his reaction whether or not his explanation is genuine or just a cover-up.
It’s not your thing: Just because you’re the sugar baby and he’s the sugar daddy, it doesn’t mean that he can dictate what goes on in the bedroom. You have boundaries too, and there’s a good chance his fantasy might not be your fantasy. After all, research shows male sexual fantasies tend to be more adventurous and impersonal, while female sexual fantasies are more centered on their partner. Ultimately however, you both want the same thing, pleasure. And this is where your skills as a sexual negotiator shine. Instead of shutting his idea down outright, find adventurous elements that turn both of you on.
No, not yet: Your sugar daddy might be a sex god, but even a deity can have an off night. Don’t believe us? Just Google premature ejaculation; you’ll see over 2,000,000 hits in about 0.27 seconds. It seems like there are a lot of men out there who want to last longer between the sheets. The point is that it’s common. Admittedly, you can only take his premature ejaculation as a compliment for so long. Then what? This is one situation where giggling won’t help. Fortunately, there are an almost limitless number of other ways he can give you orgasms. If the problem persists, it might be best to acknowledge the issue and deal with it. The little blue pill might seem like a natural solution, but there are others. You could try a condom that contains the desensitizing lubricant benzocaine, or maybe double up the ultra-sensitive condoms. Change the pace and vary the speed and depth. Deep breathing exercises also help, as well as enjoying concentrating on the experience instead of just the climactic finish and dismount.
Talking dirty: There’s a time and place for quiet, romantic sex and then there’s a time and place for wild, mind-blowing sex complete with dirty talk. The former needs no introduction; the latter might need some help. What happens when you want to spice up the bedroom banter with dirty talk and the only thing your sugar daddy comes up with is, “Open Sesame?” Talking dirty is an art form; it’s not about using random, generic phrases—it’s about turning your partner on, and it doesn’t even have to be super sexual, at least not at first. Sometimes, the most subtle phrases can build sexual tension. For example, instead of “open sesame,” he could say, “I’ve got a big surprise for you.” Or ask him to describe in detail what he loves about you in bed. Since dirty talk is about turning each other on, it will evolve the more you get to know each other. Start slow and eventually his words will make your knees weak, your eyes roll, and your toes flare.
What do you think: What’s the most awkward thing that’s happened to you or your sugar daddy during sex?
Lakin, M., et al., “Erectile Dysfunction,” Cleveland Clinic Center for Continuing Education web site; http://goo.gl/SJJgi1, last accessed June 27, 2014.