I didn’t know what emotions to have—a man I had just met was offering to become my sugar daddy, covering all of my expenses, including school. It was an offer that so many girls in my position would want to have; being from humble beginnings and just wanting a way out, how could I refuse? Secretly, I was so excited, though I did my best to conceal it.
This older man, Keith, began to tell me that he was married and that he and his wife had adopted a young girl from an underprivileged background, as his wife could not get pregnant. He had much older kids than I from previous relationships; however, his relationships with them were not the best. He told me that he had worked hard to be in a position where he doesn’t have to worry about money, and that he had his own business. It was a very famous guesthouse in a sought-after neighborhood that catered to a high-end clientele. I knew of it. I would often drive past it and look at the panoramic view it had to offer; the architecture of the building was beautiful. The venue specialized in dream weddings and functions and had both local and international celebrities as their guests.
Keith told me that if I had a problem with the fact that he was married and didn’t want to have anything to do with him, that he would understand and now would be the time to tell him before we continued our conversation. I respected the fact that he told me, and though I have never dated a married man, I have heard they were the best kind, because they know how to take care of their women. I thought to myself, “What would be the harm if no one gets hurt?”
Keith was 51 and had been married for thirty years. He and his wife had lived in England for many years, and while she moved back overseas five years ago to oversee the business, he continued to stay there. He worked in the medical profession back there and lived comfortably. He told me that his relationship with his wife was more about business, friendship, and loyalty, as the reality was that they had reached a dead end sexually. What he did say, though, was that he respected her and would never leave her, as she had stuck by him through everything.
It was not my place to judge or try to figure what was going on with them; as young as I was, I was still old enough to understand that men will tell you what they feel you need to hear. I’m not a psychologist—it’s not for me to sit and counsel and tell him what to do to try and make it work. When a man decides he wants to cheat, that’s exactly what he will do.
Keith and I spent a couple hours on the bridge before we decided to leave. On the drive home, he offered me something to eat and I decided on pan chicken. As we got it, I offered some of the food to him. He later told me that that was the deciding factor; he had taken women out before and they ate and never had a thought to share with him. Yet I offered him some from the small amount I had and still decided to take home what was left to share with my family. That was lesson one for me—he saw care and unselfishness in me, which only made me fall for him more.