The Best Part of Being the Sugar Baby of a Rich, Older, Married Man

I didn’t know what emo­tions to have—a man I had just met was offer­ing to become my sugar daddy, cov­er­ing all of my expenses, includ­ing school. It was an offer that so many girls in my posi­tion would want to have; being from hum­ble begin­nings and just want­ing a way out, how could I refuse? Secretly, I was so excited, though I did my best to con­ceal it.

This older man, Keith, began to tell me that he was mar­ried and that he and his wife had adopted a young girl from an under­priv­i­leged back­ground, as his wife could not get preg­nant. He had much older kids than I from pre­vi­ous rela­tion­ships; how­ever, his rela­tion­ships with them were not the best. He told me that he had worked hard to be in a posi­tion where he doesn’t have to worry about money, and that he had his own busi­ness. It was a very famous guest­house in a sought-after neigh­bor­hood that catered to a high-end clien­tele. I knew of it. I would often drive past it and look at the panoramic view it had to offer; the archi­tec­ture of the build­ing was beau­ti­ful. The venue spe­cial­ized in dream wed­dings and func­tions and had both local and inter­na­tional celebri­ties as their guests.

Keith told me that if I had a prob­lem with the fact that he was mar­ried and didn’t want to have any­thing to do with him, that he would under­stand and now would be the time to tell him before we con­tin­ued our con­ver­sa­tion. I respected the fact that he told me, and though I have never dated a mar­ried man, I have heard they were the best kind, because they know how to take care of their women. I thought to myself, “What would be the harm if no one gets hurt?”

Keith was 51 and had been mar­ried for thirty years. He and his wife had lived in Eng­land for many years, and while she moved back over­seas five years ago to over­see the busi­ness, he con­tin­ued to stay there. He worked in the med­ical pro­fes­sion back there and lived com­fort­ably. He told me that his rela­tion­ship with his wife was more about busi­ness, friend­ship, and loy­alty, as the real­ity was that they had reached a dead end sex­u­ally. What he did say, though, was that he respected her and would never leave her, as she had stuck by him through everything.

It was not my place to judge or try to fig­ure what was going on with them; as young as I was, I was still old enough to under­stand that men will tell you what they feel you need to hear. I’m not a psychologist—it’s not for me to sit and coun­sel and tell him what to do to try and make it work. When a man decides he wants to cheat, that’s exactly what he will do.

Keith and I spent a cou­ple hours on the bridge before we decided to leave. On the drive home, he offered me some­thing to eat and I decided on pan chicken. As we got it, I offered some of the food to him. He later told me that that was the decid­ing fac­tor; he had taken women out before and they ate and never had a thought to share with him. Yet I offered him some from the small amount I had and still decided to take home what was left to share with my fam­ily. That was les­son one for me—he saw care and unselfish­ness in me, which only made me fall for him more.