Keegan told me that he had been in a long-term relationship for nearly 10 years with another woman who had hurt him very badly. He helped raise her four children, despite none of them being his. He bent over backwards for her and her kids, and did everything he could to make the relationship work for the sake of the kids he’d grown to love. To them, he was their daddy.
For him, hearing me tell him how badly I wanted to be his wife and have his kids made him feel both nervous and excited at the same time. He didn’t react the way I thought he would, because he didn’t know how to react.
He was waiting for the right woman to marry; his ex wasn’t the right one. He was waiting for the right woman to have his own children with, and she wasn’t the right woman for that either. Keegan wasn’t sure if I was the right one either, just because he was worried that I may change my mind later, since I was so young. We talked for hours before he kissed me gently and left for work.
I wasn’t quite sure where we had left things, as there was still so much left unresolved that we still needed to hash out. But I also had my final exams and a final project to turn in, as graduation was coming up. It was actually a day or so before Keegan’s birthday. After my mini-getaway with my friend Kate, I had a lot of catching up to do for school. I hammered out all of my coursework, while still thinking about Keegan and his past.
This got me thinking about his present life, and whether or not he was still seeing that other woman that he was dating before we broke up. We had never spoken about exclusivity, but how do I bring that up after he just told me he’s terrified? Plus, we didn’t really decide whether or not we were getting back together.
So, I did what I thought was right at the time. I invited him to my graduation ceremony, along with my family. He hadn’t met them yet, but he had an idea of who was who. I told my mom we had made up, but we weren’t officially back together yet. I was kind of hoping she would be able to throw me an assist and talk to Keegan, explain to him that I’m not the naïve young woman his friends and family seem to think I am just because of my age. I am a woman, who knows very well what she wants, and I’ve set out to get it one way or another—he just so happened to be the “it” that I was after.