The Naughty Thing I Made My Sugar Daddy Do to Make Myself Feel Better About Cheating on Him

The argu­ments between my sugar daddy, Kirk, and I weren’t get­ting bet­ter. He wasn’t happy about being com­mit­ted to me while I kept him a secret—I had to, since my first older sugar daddy, Keith, had no idea what I was doing while he was away. Kirk’s ego was begin­ning to cause a prob­lem and he would often go miss­ing with­out me being able to get a hold of him. He just couldn’t han­dle my rela­tion­ship with Keith anymore.

What I respected and loved about Kirk was that he was obliv­i­ous to how women saw him; he was a gor­geous man and women always hit on him, but it meant noth­ing, as long as he had me the way he wanted. That meant that, for now at least, he was being faith­ful. I felt guilty for keep­ing Kirk on the back­burner, but how do you just leave some­one that has done you no wrong? I was not ready to let Keith go.

I had a friend in my mod­el­ing agency that always had a thing for Kirk and she was always ask­ing my per­mis­sion to go out with him, although he was never inter­ested. I told him I had no prob­lem if he even had sex with her. After all, I had some­one else, too. I guess in some way I was try­ing to appease him and stop my guilt, but he was not budg­ing. After weeks of forc­ing him to give her a shot, he came to see me one night and my model friend just hap­pened to be there. I whis­pered to Kirk that if he loved me, he would do as I told him.

He finally agreed to have sex with her, and as I handed him the con­doms, I watched them do it. I had no emo­tions as I watched her scream and moan; some­how, watch­ing them made me feel bet­ter about what I was doing. Look­ing back, I was in such a bad place at the time. I didn’t deserve any of these men and in some weird way, they both became my pawns. Because of their love for me, I could manip­u­late them both—and I did.

I told Keith that every­thing he needed to hear in order for him to fall even harder for me, and I did all the things I knew would impress him. In my mind, it was love, but how can you love two peo­ple? Is that even pos­si­ble? Is that really what I felt for these two men?

It was never easy bal­anc­ing the two, hid­ing the phone calls and the text mes­sages, sneak­ing around—it was so tir­ing, not to men­tion dif­fi­cult. I had got­ten so accus­tomed to the life I had with both of them that I didn’t want to let go of either of the two, as hard as it was to man­age them both.

When­ever Keith had any sus­pi­cions, I was so good at reas­sur­ing him with my tears and pro­fess­ing my undy­ing love for him, argu­ing how tired I was of his accu­sa­tions. I’ve since grown up and real­ized that what I did was so unfair to both men, regard­less of Keith’s witch of a wife. But these were good men, and as I would soon find out, the game I was play­ing was about to get very dangerous.