The One Thing My Rich Older Man Wouldn’t Give Me (No Matter How Much I Begged For It): Part 1

As I walked across the stage at my grad­u­a­tion, I could sort of hear my mom talk­ing to my older man, Kee­gan. She pur­posely chose to sit right next to him, so that she could say what he needed to hear as he watched me accept my degree.  I could see his eyes light­ing up as she talked and he put two and two together.

His friends were doing him a seri­ous dis­ser­vice by try­ing to talk him out of dat­ing me, espe­cially hav­ing no expe­ri­ence with an age gap rela­tion­ship. The only expe­ri­ence they were going on was hor­ror sto­ries other peo­ple had had in the past. But hear­ing about a few pos­i­tive age-gap rela­tion­ship sto­ries from my mom really seemed to strike a chord with Keegan.

I was finally fin­ished with school. I had earned my degree and landed an awe­some job mak­ing really good money. Pro­fes­sion­ally, life would be won­der­ful, as I soon learned right after the grad­u­a­tion cer­e­mony. Kee­gan and I went to my favorite Ital­ian restau­rant to cel­e­brate. It’s a pricey place to eat, but the food is fabulous.

We still hadn’t got­ten back together yet—we had bro­ken up because he was still dat­ing other people—but we were talk­ing more reg­u­larly now. The day of my grad­u­a­tion was also Keegan’s birth­day. I asked what he wanted for his birth­day and his only response was, “You.” I smiled and told him the door was unlocked when­ever he wanted to come over, think­ing that he meant he wanted to get laid. To be hon­est, I missed being with him, too.

When he arrived at my place around 10 p.m., he was fairly ham­mered and had walked from a small bar up the street from my apart­ment. I answered the door in the same black lin­gerie I had teased him with dur­ing our ini­tial “10 dates, no sex” period. That took the cake. He went straight to the bath­room and then led me to the bedroom.

I took this as a good sign that I had inter­preted his mean­ing prop­erly. We were still raw from every­thing that had hap­pened ear­lier that month, but I felt like that night was a step in the right direc­tion for us as a cou­ple. We were finally hav­ing sex again, and a lot of it. We were pretty much insep­a­ra­ble again after that night.

I would learn later that he had still been casu­ally see­ing one woman from the dat­ing web site, but not until I had embar­rassed myself yet again after Valentine’s Day. Our Valentine’s Day was the first I’d ever actu­ally spent with my part­ner. We exchanged cards, flow­ers, and most impor­tantly, time. Kee­gan was the most patient, care­ful, ten­der, and lov­ing man I had ever been with, and I thought that it was time for us to take the next step into secur­ing our monog­a­mous state, con­sid­er­ing the dust had finally set­tled from our recent split.

It was about a week before my birth­day when I asked him out to din­ner. After we had ordered our drinks, I looked him square in the eye and said, “I would like for us to be exclu­sive, in a monog­a­mous rela­tion­ship that we can both agree will even­tu­ally lead to mar­riage and children.”

Kee­gan choked on his drink. By the time he caught his breath, the wait­ress had come back for our orders and he gave me the, “Hold on a minute” ges­ture while plac­ing his order. I placed my order and then waited for his answer…