My older ex-boyfriend, Lex, started taking care of me even better than before. It had been three years since we broke up, and he was acting like a changed man. He brought me a car and helped me to expand my business, but I still had no feelings toward him, and I think he saw it.
He was beginning to act like a stalker, wanting me to take photos wherever I was and send them to him when I was out with my girlfriends. Because of his possessiveness, I felt like I hardly had a chance to have a conversation with them; I was always on the phone with him. Oftentimes, I’d hand the phone to them to reassure him that I really was out with my girlfriends. My friends hated Lex.
One day, he told me that he knew my every move. And that’s when I told him that I had no interest in making a relationship work with him, because I felt like he was just a bit too dangerous for my liking. I was starting to act very paranoid and I felt he wasn’t worth it, since I wasn’t even really in love with him anymore. Our relationship finally faded and we both went our separate ways.
I was alone once again and I buried myself in working hard, but it was difficult. I never really liked being alone; I liked the solace of a relationship. I never considered my relationship with Lex a “relationship”—it was an agenda. I wanted to get back at him for leaving me all those years ago. So, when I met John six months later, there was nothing to get over about Lex.
John was 10 years older than me and he was that flashy, flamboyant type of man who flaunted his wealth. Although, when I met him the first time, he was so calm and easygoing. I remember the first time he gave me his number. I don’t think I was physically attracted to him, but he had spoken to me so calmly and I liked that.
After about two days of holding on to John’s number, I decided to give him a call, and when he called back, we stayed on the phone for almost two hours. I could hear him in the background speaking to his son and I admired their relationship and the bond they had. It didn’t take long for me to visit his home and that’s when I met his son, who was visiting for the holidays from the States. He was so respectful and well-mannered, none of which he got from his dad.
John was into almost anything that would make him legitimate money, and he was successful at whatever he did. In the initial stages of our relationship, he didn’t believe in giving me money, until I gave him an ultimatum. I remember years ago when my ex-sugar daddy, Keith, and I came to an end he said, “Whoever you meet after me, make sure they’re doing more for you than I did. And if they’re not, then they’re not worth hanging on to.” I have carried that with me until this day.
John told me he was single, but I later found out that he was married. It turns out that he was the kind of man who did not like to be alone, but he didn’t know how to keep a woman either. He was verbally abusive and he was disrespectful. He was unlike anyone I have ever come in contact with. He used his money to control everyone around him, including me.