I was madly in love with my older man, Brian; we were both so madly in love with each other that at one point, he even asked me to marry him. I said yes instantly—he bought me the most beautiful ring with matching earrings. We had only just met maybe three months earlier, but with the time we spent together, it seemed like so much longer. He was so ecstatic I said yes that he sent me flowers and surprised me with a beautiful Gucci handbag. It was like a fairy tale. We visited a dress shop once to look at gowns, but I felt uneasy trying anything on as the shop attendant gave me a dirty look because of our obvious age difference.
As time went on and we discussed it, we realized that we were just in two different places in our lives. He was nearing retirement as I was just starting out in life. He was much older than me at the time; his kids were already older than me. The biggest issue though, was that he didn’t want kids; he’d already raised four—“not including you,” he joked. He also didn’t want to wait anxiously for me to come home after being around “hot guys” who were “my age.” He saw that as competition and a battle he was certain he’d lose. I disagreed fiercely.
Because we were at different points in our life, he felt it was near time to end the relationship before it progressed any further. He’d had his children and was putting them through college, so he did what he thought was best at the time. We spent an entire whirlwind weekend together making love, shopping for a whole new wardrobe, laughing, crying, going for rides on his motorcycle, and just being us, doing whatever made us happy. We were best when we were together, neither of us could deny that.
At the end of our weekend, we agreed that it would be the last time we’d see each other to let things cool off. Our passion was intense—mind, body, and soul. Lovemaking was phenomenal, and the connection was unmatched. Brian didn’t want to be left behind waiting while I grew up, and looking back, I now agree; it was for the best.
Brian taught me a lot during our time together; I still do some things a certain way because that’s how he taught me to do it. Even though I asked him to, he never did meet my mother, although she knew all along, even without me ever discussing it with her. She agreed that it was the wisest decision we could make, to end on a high note. She was a little miffed that I didn’t invite her to go wedding dress shopping though, because she had some choice words for the snotty attendant after hearing all about it.
Although I was heartbroken, my mom suggested I pull myself back up and get back out there so I could move on. So, I did. During this time, I met Marco.