The Secret to Making Your Age Gap Relationship Last Longer (and It’s Super Easy)

The SecretThere’s cer­tainly no one-size-fits-all for­mula for mak­ing an age gap rela­tion­ship work. Not all May-December cou­ples are the same and because of that, every long-term rela­tion­ship needs to be fos­tered in a dif­fer­ent way. That being said, there are still cer­tain things you can do to help ensure that your age gap rela­tion­ship is able to stand the test of time.

One of the best things May-December couples—or all cou­ples, for that matter—can do to sus­tain their rela­tion­ship is keep it excit­ing by try­ing new things, accord­ing to a 2014 study in the Jour­nal of Social and Per­sonal Rela­tion­ships. Researchers sur­veyed 500 peo­ple between the ages of 18 and 92 who were in a long-term rela­tion­ship (the median dura­tion was 17 years) to try and mea­sure how much indi­vid­u­als inte­grated their part­ners’ qual­i­ties into them­selves, and how much of a “group iden­tity” the cou­ples shared, mean­ing how much of a “team” dynamic there was between the partners.

The find­ings showed that the longer a cou­ple was together, the less “group iden­tity” there was. This makes sense, because the longer you’re in the age gap rela­tion­ship, the more likely you are to get com­fort­able and stop invest­ing as much effort. How­ever, the cou­ples who con­tin­ued to try new expe­ri­ences together actu­ally reported feel­ing more attracted to each other, com­pared to those par­tic­i­pants who no longer felt like their part­ner helped them grow as a person.

If you are sup­port­ive of each other and feel like you grow as your part­ner improves, you gain,” explained the study’s lead author. Going on reg­u­lar date nights is one way to do that, because it encour­ages May-December cou­ples to set aside time that’s ded­i­cated solely to one another, which in turn can help main­tain the pas­sion and attrac­tion that brought you together in the first place.

The qual­ity of your dates does make a dif­fer­ence though. Spend­ing two hours in silence watch­ing a movie in your sweats isn’t quite the same as get­ting dressed up and going out for an inti­mate din­ner. To really ben­e­fit your age gap rela­tion­ship, you’ll need to invest a lit­tle more time and effort into your dates. For instance, try doing new and excit­ing things that the two of you can expe­ri­ence together—this has been shown to help sus­tain relationships.

Keep in mind, how­ever, that it’s also impor­tant to plan dates and activ­i­ties that are mutu­ally sat­is­fy­ing for both of you. For instance, by forc­ing him to do some­thing he doesn’t want to, nei­ther of you will be happy. Whether you plan weekly or monthly dates, the trick is to do some­thing that inter­ests both of you.


Hakala, K., “Why The Hap­pi­est Cou­ples Are the Ones Who Never Stop Dat­ing,” Mic web site, March 19, 2015;

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About Isabella

I was never patriotic, so when Independence Day came, the last thing on my mind was to go out and celebrate. I was bored and I was lonely, and though they weren’t my normal crowd, thesse girls were friends and family members who I grew up with. But Diana had her man, Marsha had hers, and my cousin Lisa had her own. I was the only one who was single and my taste was just too high; the kind of men they dated did not appeal to me. I wanted the executive, the entrepreneur. I was 22 and unhappy about my life. I yearned to be in a relationship; I felt I had so much to give a man, and yet I was single. My friends and I waited for cab and I was still second-guessing whether or not I really wanted to go out. While we were waiting, an older looking gentleman driving a blue pick-up truck drove up to us. As he slowed, he said, “Don’t move. I’m coming right back!” He drove off, leaving a trail of his cologne, as he sped away to drop off the construction workers sitting in the back of the truck. Literally moments later, he came back, stopped in front of us, asked us where we were going, and told us to get in. It turns out his name was Keith. After Keith dropped us off, I realized I didn’t want to stay and asked him to take me back to where he picked us up from. He turned, looked at me, and said, “You were the reason why I picked you all up. I wanted to get to know you. So, I’m happy you decided to leave with me.”