The “Soft” Truth About Sex with an Older Man

Johnny Depp’s Advice for Prince William

If it hap­pens every time for sev­eral months, it puts a damper on a couple’s entire being.

About a year ago, impo­tence crept into our love life. It stayed for sev­eral months. I won­dered if I wasn’t being attrac­tive or stim­u­lat­ing enough. I won­dered if I could do some­thing dif­fer­ent to add more spice in our May-December rela­tion­ship. Dur­ing the months of impo­tence, the expe­ri­ence changed a lot of dynam­ics in our entire rela­tion­ship. It caused me to not want to sleep with him any­more, because I felt unat­trac­tive. Fred started com­ment­ing on how “tired” he was before we went to bed. He would sneak off to bed and fall asleep before I was ready to join him. This was a new behav­ior that was just not tolerable.

I got tired of not get­ting laid on the week­ends, because that’s half the fun of being in a rela­tion­ship like this. Hav­ing a pas­sion­ate night was a spe­cial part of our week­ends, and all of a sud­den it was gone, so I would choose to not stay overnight. We tried elim­i­nat­ing caf­feine and alco­hol, going to bed ear­lier, mak­ing love in the morn­ings instead, and a few other things, but noth­ing worked.

I had to do some­thing, and quick, if our May-December rela­tion­ship was ever going to sur­vive. I decided on my plan of action. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it had to be done. As the issue con­tin­ued, I asked Fred to see his doc­tor. It was wor­ry­ing me. I won­dered if he had a health problem.

The doc­tor gave Fred a “Cialis” pill for him to try. Sure enough, that did the trick! He had a long-lasting erec­tion and again in the morn­ing, and again in the after­noon, and again the next evening. It was a dif­fer­ent ele­ment to con­tend with, and our sex life had changed from being spon­ta­neous, care­free, and under con­trol to being depen­dent on a wild pill.

Get­ting the pills worked and was agreed on very eas­ily for both of us, as we were both ready to end the tor­ment of impo­tence. Ini­tially, the expense of the pills wasn’t a road­block. After a bit of time, Fred started to com­plain about how expen­sive the pills were, and his insur­ance didn’t pick up the costs. He became reluc­tant to refill the pills because he didn’t think the cost was worth it. That opin­ion put a wedge in my heart and cre­ated a lot of reflec­tion on the strength of our May-December rela­tion­ship. I thought, “Mak­ing love isn’t worth a $32.00 pill?” That angered me.

I wasn’t pur­posely try­ing to avoid him, but I was search­ing inside myself and won­der­ing what I signed up for dat­ing a man who was 25 years my senior. There are going to be other health prob­lems. I don’t want to be spoon-feeding him one day. I don’t want to be a 50-year-old vibrant woman vis­it­ing him in the nurs­ing home.

Fred decided to buy more pills and use them reg­u­larly. The pills were a solu­tion to the symp­toms that impo­tence caused in our May-December rela­tion­ship. Our love­mak­ing is dif­fer­ent now, but just as pas­sion­ate as it used to be. It took sev­eral months for the evo­lu­tion of impo­tence to work its way through our sex life, and it cer­tainly tested our relationship.

Occa­sional impo­tence is noth­ing to worry about, but a chronic case of impo­tence tested our level of friend­ship in a lot of ways. It tested our togeth­er­ness and our future. It chal­lenged us to find the true value in the level of our rela­tion­ship. Impo­tence caused us to ques­tion our­selves and each other. We obvi­ously both agreed that inti­macy was impor­tant to both of us; we worked through it and got it back with help from a pill.

Unfor­tu­nately, this is an issue that can affect a lot of cou­ples in a May-December rela­tion­ship, but if it’s han­dled with care, there’s no rea­son you can’t get through it together.

  • Thomas Lewin­sky

    I have had sim­i­lar prob­lem with my wife of 12 years. I myself am 55 years of age and I some­times find it dif­fi­cult to keep up with her energy lev­els. In my coun­try of Tajik­istan we do not have ben­e­fit of such pills. But some­times we will bring in another woman or a goat to spice things up a bit in the bed­room. A fringe group in my coun­try some­times tries to shame me for mar­ry­ing a woman 37 years my junior. But I take it all in stride. For to have such a beau­ti­ful young wife by my side is truly worth any scorn that can be heaped upon us.

    May Allah for­ever bless the holy mat­ri­mony of sacred marriage.

    • Reg­u­lar Guy

      Ah, you are a funny guy Borat. A goat! Ha ha…good one!

    • phillip­ski­fi­ca­tion .

      You mar­ried a six year old?? Yes, you deserve all the shame that is thrust upon you.