If it happens every time for several months, it puts a damper on a couple’s entire being.
About a year ago, impotence crept into our love life. It stayed for several months. I wondered if I wasn’t being attractive or stimulating enough. I wondered if I could do something different to add more spice in our May-December relationship. During the months of impotence, the experience changed a lot of dynamics in our entire relationship. It caused me to not want to sleep with him anymore, because I felt unattractive. Fred started commenting on how “tired” he was before we went to bed. He would sneak off to bed and fall asleep before I was ready to join him. This was a new behavior that was just not tolerable.
I got tired of not getting laid on the weekends, because that’s half the fun of being in a relationship like this. Having a passionate night was a special part of our weekends, and all of a sudden it was gone, so I would choose to not stay overnight. We tried eliminating caffeine and alcohol, going to bed earlier, making love in the mornings instead, and a few other things, but nothing worked.
I had to do something, and quick, if our May-December relationship was ever going to survive. I decided on my plan of action. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it had to be done. As the issue continued, I asked Fred to see his doctor. It was worrying me. I wondered if he had a health problem.
The doctor gave Fred a “Cialis” pill for him to try. Sure enough, that did the trick! He had a long-lasting erection and again in the morning, and again in the afternoon, and again the next evening. It was a different element to contend with, and our sex life had changed from being spontaneous, carefree, and under control to being dependent on a wild pill.
Getting the pills worked and was agreed on very easily for both of us, as we were both ready to end the torment of impotence. Initially, the expense of the pills wasn’t a roadblock. After a bit of time, Fred started to complain about how expensive the pills were, and his insurance didn’t pick up the costs. He became reluctant to refill the pills because he didn’t think the cost was worth it. That opinion put a wedge in my heart and created a lot of reflection on the strength of our May-December relationship. I thought, “Making love isn’t worth a $32.00 pill?” That angered me.
I wasn’t purposely trying to avoid him, but I was searching inside myself and wondering what I signed up for dating a man who was 25 years my senior. There are going to be other health problems. I don’t want to be spoon-feeding him one day. I don’t want to be a 50-year-old vibrant woman visiting him in the nursing home.
Fred decided to buy more pills and use them regularly. The pills were a solution to the symptoms that impotence caused in our May-December relationship. Our lovemaking is different now, but just as passionate as it used to be. It took several months for the evolution of impotence to work its way through our sex life, and it certainly tested our relationship.
Occasional impotence is nothing to worry about, but a chronic case of impotence tested our level of friendship in a lot of ways. It tested our togetherness and our future. It challenged us to find the true value in the level of our relationship. Impotence caused us to question ourselves and each other. We obviously both agreed that intimacy was important to both of us; we worked through it and got it back with help from a pill.
Unfortunately, this is an issue that can affect a lot of couples in a May-December relationship, but if it’s handled with care, there’s no reason you can’t get through it together.