I was out on a romantic dinner date with my new older man, Keegan. As the evening wore on, we both drank a lot more than planned, but we were having a really great time. We tried making it through a movie, but decided it was best we head back to my apartment nearby and sober up. The weather was bad, so we rode in one car and once we got home, we both fell asleep.
That was the first night Keegan stayed over. He fell asleep on the couch, and I on the bed. Around 2 a.m., I woke up confused, so I went to find him. I didn’t know if he’d left or what. He was snoring peacefully, but I woke him up anyway. I held his hand and led him to my bedroom. We lied down and cuddled up under the blankets—we were both still mostly clothed. It was the most comfortable feeling, like a human body heater emanating mass quantities of heated cologne.
We started to fall back asleep, but after about 20 minutes, Keegan let out the biggest, loudest, longest fart I had ever heard, and having grown up with seven brothers, that’s pretty impressive. It was so loud that it echoed off the bare walls of my apartment. I tried very, very hard not to giggle, smirk, or laugh.
I pretended I was asleep, while biting my lip and stiffening my stomach to hold in my laughter. I could feel him lift his head to check and see if he’d woken me up. I kind of think it was so loud that he woke himself up. After about five minutes, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.
We both started laughing hysterically. “Delayed response?” he asked as tears strolled down his face from laughing so hard. We were both laughing so hard that we were crying for a solid 20 minutes. It certainly broke down any walls of shyness between us. It was such an unexpected way to get past the “normal body functions” and I’m 99% certain he did it either by accident or because he was sure I was asleep. To this day, we both lose it and laugh ridiculously when talking about that night.
That was actually our tenth date, which meant that according to my “10 dates, no sex” rule, we were free to have sex as we pleased. It was perfect timing, considering he’d already broken down any walls of insecurity with his flatulence. Once we realized it was our tenth date, we double-checked all of our past dates to make sure it was actually 10 full dates. Not surprisingly, we were right on target.
Since we were both wide awake as the sun started coming up, we thought it might be best to take advantage of the time, considering the holidays and busy schedules were nearing. So, we hopped in the shower—this time, together…