The Worst Secret You Could Ever Keep From Your Rich Older Man

Worst SecretHon­esty is obvi­ously impor­tant in age gap rela­tion­ships, but what about when it comes to money? Appar­ently it can still play a role in May-December rela­tion­ship prob­lems, because a lot of peo­ple are still keep­ing secrets not only about how much they’re spend­ing, but also how much they’re saving.

If you’ve ever blown money on some­thing really expen­sive, but cho­sen not to tell your older man, you’re not the only one. Accord­ing to a recent report by a credit card web site, 14% of Amer­i­can women have hid a pur­chase over $500 from their part­ner. But what’s more sur­pris­ing is that men are even guiltier of doing this—26% of Amer­i­can men have spent $500 or more with­out telling their partner.

That’s not all. It turns out that your older man might also be hid­ing money from you. Around 4.4 mil­lion men admit to hid­ing a bank account or credit card from their wife or common-law part­ner, ver­sus 2.8 mil­lion women who have done the same.

Men are still gen­er­ally con­sid­ered to be the pri­mary bread­win­ner in a lot of mar­riages and rela­tion­ships, which is why it’s believ­able that they’re more likely to hide money. And it’s cer­tainly not hard to imag­ine an estab­lished, suc­cess­ful mature man keep­ing some of his money in hid­ing when he first starts dat­ing a younger woman—a lot of age gap rela­tion­ships start out fairly casual and he under­stand­ably wants to pro­tect his earn­ings in case this younger woman is tak­ing advan­tage of his deep pockets.

But keep­ing these kinds of secrets when things get seri­ous can be detri­men­tal to an age gap rela­tion­ship, because it can be a sign of doubt and lack of trust, which is how many May-December rela­tion­ship prob­lems start. In fact, a 2013 study found money to be “the top pre­dic­tor of divorce,” and in another sur­vey, money was listed as the third high­est cause of divorce.

We’re not say­ing that you have to share all of your credit cards and merge all of your bank accounts, but you should be able to be open and hon­est, even about finances, with your older man. And vice versa—if you’re with him in this age gap rela­tion­ship for the right rea­sons, he shouldn’t have to worry about hid­ing money from you.


Bar­rett, J., “4.4 Mil­lion Amer­i­can Men Hide Away From Their Part­ners,” NBC News web site, Jan­u­ary 21, 2015;

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About Isabella

I was never patriotic, so when Independence Day came, the last thing on my mind was to go out and celebrate. I was bored and I was lonely, and though they weren’t my normal crowd, thesse girls were friends and family members who I grew up with. But Diana had her man, Marsha had hers, and my cousin Lisa had her own. I was the only one who was single and my taste was just too high; the kind of men they dated did not appeal to me. I wanted the executive, the entrepreneur. I was 22 and unhappy about my life. I yearned to be in a relationship; I felt I had so much to give a man, and yet I was single. My friends and I waited for cab and I was still second-guessing whether or not I really wanted to go out. While we were waiting, an older looking gentleman driving a blue pick-up truck drove up to us. As he slowed, he said, “Don’t move. I’m coming right back!” He drove off, leaving a trail of his cologne, as he sped away to drop off the construction workers sitting in the back of the truck. Literally moments later, he came back, stopped in front of us, asked us where we were going, and told us to get in. It turns out his name was Keith. After Keith dropped us off, I realized I didn’t want to stay and asked him to take me back to where he picked us up from. He turned, looked at me, and said, “You were the reason why I picked you all up. I wanted to get to know you. So, I’m happy you decided to leave with me.”