The Worst Time in Your May-December Relationship to Bring Up the Topic of Marriage: Part 1

Sugar Baby Courtney Stodden Leave Her Husband Doug Hutchison to Date Anna Nicole Smith

On the night of our first date, Bran­don, my new older man, had asked to be in an exclu­sive, long-term rela­tion­ship. Since I was only 20 years old, I was not sure how to take it all in. There was a big 26-year age dif­fer­ence between Bran­don and I and, as any­one else would con­clude, I was still a lit­tle young to be think­ing of mar­riage. Not that Bran­don ever pushed the idea. In fact, he him­self once men­tioned that mar­riage was a death trap, to which I laughed. A younger Lena would’ve given Bran­don a glare for the com­ment, but as I got older, I came to real­ize that mar­riage was not really every­thing it was hyped up to be. Sure, hav­ing some­one and being solely with one other per­son was sweet and what many of us today strive to find, but then again, both Bran­don and I were speak­ing from wounded hearts—mine from a non-committed ex-boyfriend and Bran­don from a failed mar­riage and other failed relationships.

So, it was no won­der that Brandon’s talk about see­ing him­self get­ting mar­ried to me threw me off a lit­tle, and to be hon­est, scared me one step back. It’s not that I wouldn’t be think­ing the same thing at some point in our May-December rela­tion­ship, but to have men­tioned it on our very first date was a lit­tle early, and I had the feel­ing that Bran­don liked to go through every­thing at full-throttle speed. I had openly expressed my feel­ings to Bran­don two nights after he noticed my dis­tance. I was com­fort­able enough to tell him exactly what I was feel­ing, but there was some­how a mis­com­mu­ni­ca­tion on his part and he thought I wanted to end what we had. After apol­o­giz­ing and explain­ing what impelled him to say what he did that night of our date, I found myself once again soft­en­ing up to him.

Bran­don wasn’t look­ing to set­tle down any­time soon, but he did want to let me know that there was poten­tial between us and if I couldn’t com­mit to it, he would under­stand. And with that, he sug­gested that we should just go back to being friends. By that point, I was so con­fused with my feel­ings that I agreed, not know­ing what “just friends” really meant to Bran­don. After set­tling in for a long night on the phone with Bran­don, I fig­ured we patched every­thing up and I thought we would remain the same, with the daily text mes­sages and calls. I was wrong.

It wasn’t until the next day that I noticed things were not the same for me and Bran­don. For the entire morn­ing, I had gone about my day with­out a sin­gle word from Bran­don. I fig­ured he was just busy with work, so I didn’t think too much of it—until the end of the work day came and I still hadn’t heard from him. I kept think­ing to myself that I shouldn’t expect him to treat me like a girl­friend, because clearly we agreed to just be friends. But if his feel­ings for me were as strong as he con­fessed that night on our first date, why was he able to go through a whole day with­out hear­ing from me? At that point, I was even more con­fused, so I decided to take mat­ters into my own hands…

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About Lena

I’d always dreamed of the perfect fairytale prince in storybooks—ready with money and status to come save me from my chaotic, average life and treat me like his princess. Add a 26-year age difference and I found the closest thing to it. Not everything comes as easy as we expect it to, but that’s what makes it all the more fun. At 18 years old, I experienced that “Mr. Right Now” love with a guy my age named Jared. Two years later, I met Brandon, my older man. Jared was the typical playboy who romanced my naïve younger self and made me fall hard for him. That relationship caused me to view love in an entirely different way than I previously had, and I’m actually glad it did. By the time I met Brandon, I had become wiser and more prepared for the reality of relationships. Even though at 20 years old I didn’t show the tell-tale signs of a smart, mature woman, that was exactly what I had become. I started as a part-time secretary for a highly respectable office, while juggling a full-time load of college courses at the local university. It was my first official job where I had to wear heels, pencil skirts, and an occasional suit. I was no longer the high-school girl that found “true love” after graduation and had her heart broken immediately after. The new woman I was now was confident and smart, and when I saw Brandon walk through the lobby door, I knew he’d be a challenge, one I was ready to accept. Now at 22, and Brandon at 48, we’ve managed to keep a two -year relationship feeling like the very first day we met—all the excitement and butterflies are still very much present.