This Is How the Not-So-Hot Guys End Up with the Hottest Girl at the Bar

Sugar Daddy George Lucas Welcomes Daughter with Young Wife Mellody Hobson

Not-So-Hot GuysHow would you han­dle being rejected? It’s never fun, but what if you were the one who was doing the snubbing?

It’s some­thing that you’ll prob­a­bly have to deal with at some point or another in age gap dat­ing, because not every man that comes your way is going to nec­es­sar­ily be one you want to keep around. But accord­ing to recent research, it’s eas­ier said than done.

Accord­ing to a study pub­lished in Psy­cho­log­i­cal Sci­ence, you’d have no prob­lem reject­ing an unfa­vor­able suitor in a hypo­thet­i­cal situation—like if some­one just asked you what you would do if an older man asked you out—but you’d have a much harder time say­ing ‘no’ if that same older man actu­ally asked you out in person.

In the study, par­tic­i­pants were first asked to put together a dat­ing pro­file for them­selves. They were then given pro­files belong­ing to sup­posed poten­tial matches. Half of the group was told that their poten­tial dates were sit­ting in the room next door, while the other half were told that their poten­tial dates were not phys­i­cally there, but to imag­ine meet­ing them in per­son. Every par­tic­i­pant ended up receiv­ing an unat­trac­tive suitor whom they believed was inter­ested in meet­ing. Researchers found that par­tic­i­pants were more likely to accept a date they didn’t really want from an unat­trac­tive match if they believed the per­son was really there, ver­sus the group who had to just imag­ine the per­son was there. The same find­ings occurred when there was a mis­match based on other deal-breaking qual­i­ties, like a dif­fer­ent reli­gion or polit­i­cal view, rather than just phys­i­cal attractiveness.

So, what does this mean for age gap dat­ing? Well, it just goes to show that it’s going to be harder to reject an older man if he’s stand­ing right in front of you, or even if you think you’re going to meet him for the first time. And it’s a safe assump­tion that a lot of women don’t even real­ize that they’re doing it.

It’s actu­ally pretty inter­est­ing to see how much peo­ple sub­con­sciously avoid try­ing to hurt someone’s feel­ings, but that can lead to some sticky age gap dat­ing sit­u­a­tions. “The fact that we under­es­ti­mate how con­cerned we’ll feel about hurt­ing the other person’s feel­ings may help to explain why people’s dat­ing deci­sions often don’t match up with their stated dat­ing pref­er­ences,” explained one of the researchers.

When it comes to age gap dat­ing, at the end of the day it’s always bet­ter to be hon­est, and sooner rather than later. Yes, you might be inclined to accept a date with an older man that you’re not gen­uinely inter­ested in because you want to spare his feel­ings, but at the end of the day, it’s only going to end up being mis­er­able for both of you.


“Study finds that reject­ing unsuit­able suit­ors is eas­ier said than done,” Med­ical Xpress web site, Novem­ber 21, 2014;

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About Isabella

I was never patriotic, so when Independence Day came, the last thing on my mind was to go out and celebrate. I was bored and I was lonely, and though they weren’t my normal crowd, thesse girls were friends and family members who I grew up with. But Diana had her man, Marsha had hers, and my cousin Lisa had her own. I was the only one who was single and my taste was just too high; the kind of men they dated did not appeal to me. I wanted the executive, the entrepreneur. I was 22 and unhappy about my life. I yearned to be in a relationship; I felt I had so much to give a man, and yet I was single. My friends and I waited for cab and I was still second-guessing whether or not I really wanted to go out. While we were waiting, an older looking gentleman driving a blue pick-up truck drove up to us. As he slowed, he said, “Don’t move. I’m coming right back!” He drove off, leaving a trail of his cologne, as he sped away to drop off the construction workers sitting in the back of the truck. Literally moments later, he came back, stopped in front of us, asked us where we were going, and told us to get in. It turns out his name was Keith. After Keith dropped us off, I realized I didn’t want to stay and asked him to take me back to where he picked us up from. He turned, looked at me, and said, “You were the reason why I picked you all up. I wanted to get to know you. So, I’m happy you decided to leave with me.”