This One Simple Trick Can Instantly Change Your May-December Relationship (For the Better)

One Simple TrickThey say the eas­i­est way to con­nect with some­one is by mak­ing eye con­tact with them. Yet a lot of peo­ple don’t real­ize how much of an effect sim­ple body lan­guage cues like this can have on form­ing rela­tion­ships. In fact, eye con­tact is so pow­er­ful that it can actu­ally sig­nif­i­cantly improve your May-December dat­ing life, and there’s proof!

Look­ing into someone’s eyes can tell you a lot about their feel­ings, which can come in very handy for the pur­pose of May-December dat­ing. The idea of mutual gaze (when you look inter­rupted into each other’s eyes) is one that’s been stud­ied a lot. For starters, a 1989 study found that when two strangers stared into each other’s eyes, it resulted in feel­ing more affec­tion for one another. And when cou­ples engaged in mutual gaz­ing, they reported feel­ing more in love.

While this study might seem too dated to apply to your own May-December dat­ing life, sim­i­lar results have been repro­duced in more recent exper­i­ments. In 2010, a writer for Sci­en­tific Amer­i­can suc­cess­fully showed that even when strangers will­ingly gaze into each other’s eyes for a cou­ple min­utes, most of them admit to feel­ing closer to the other person.

More recently in Feb­ru­ary 2015, a pop­u­lar YouTube user recre­ated the same exper­i­ment, this time using cou­ples in vary­ing stages of their rela­tion­ship, includ­ing two strangers and one cou­ple who was mar­ried for over 50 years. Each pair was asked to sit alone in a room and silently gaze into each other’s eyes for four min­utes. Even the mar­ried cou­ple was sur­prised at the effects. “In 55 years of mar­riage, we’ve never really looked into each other’s eyes like that,” the wife report­edly told her hus­band, to which he responded, “When I look at you really closely, I real­ize how much I need you and what you mean to me, because that’s the truth.”

This is really valu­able infor­ma­tion for the pur­pose of May-December dat­ing. If your rela­tion­ship is still new, mak­ing eye con­tact is a good way to estab­lish a more inti­mate connection—don’t stare creep­ily at him the whole evening, but catch­ing each other’s glances every now and then might just help take your rela­tion­ship up a notch. If you’re done with May-December dat­ing and have set­tled down in a long-term rela­tion­ship, then spend some time really look­ing at each other. If the mar­ried cou­ple in the YouTube exper­i­ment is any indi­ca­tion, it will only make your rela­tion­ship stronger.

Sources:

Epstein, R., “Keep­ing Love Alive: Sci­en­tific Amer­i­can Does Its Part,” Sci­en­tific Amer­i­can web site, March 13, 2010; http://goo.gl/ARf3i1.

Keller­man, J., et al., “Look­ing and lov­ing: The effects of mutual gaze on feel­ings of roman­tic love,” Jour­nal of Research in Per­son­al­ity 1989; 23(2); 145–161.

Mos­ber­gen, D., “Here’s What Hap­pened After 6 Cou­ples Were Asked To Look Into Each Other’s Eyes For 4 Min­utes,” Huff­in­g­ton Post web site, Feb­ru­ary 20, 2015; http://goo.gl/qB4nHb.

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About Isabella

I was never patriotic, so when Independence Day came, the last thing on my mind was to go out and celebrate. I was bored and I was lonely, and though they weren’t my normal crowd, thesse girls were friends and family members who I grew up with. But Diana had her man, Marsha had hers, and my cousin Lisa had her own. I was the only one who was single and my taste was just too high; the kind of men they dated did not appeal to me. I wanted the executive, the entrepreneur. I was 22 and unhappy about my life. I yearned to be in a relationship; I felt I had so much to give a man, and yet I was single. My friends and I waited for cab and I was still second-guessing whether or not I really wanted to go out. While we were waiting, an older looking gentleman driving a blue pick-up truck drove up to us. As he slowed, he said, “Don’t move. I’m coming right back!” He drove off, leaving a trail of his cologne, as he sped away to drop off the construction workers sitting in the back of the truck. Literally moments later, he came back, stopped in front of us, asked us where we were going, and told us to get in. It turns out his name was Keith. After Keith dropped us off, I realized I didn’t want to stay and asked him to take me back to where he picked us up from. He turned, looked at me, and said, “You were the reason why I picked you all up. I wanted to get to know you. So, I’m happy you decided to leave with me.”