QUESTION: My older sugar daddy recently introduced me to his business partner, who also happens to be his best friend. A few weeks ago, the three of us were supposed to have dinner, but my sugar daddy got held up with a client and couldn’t make it—so, it ended up being just me and his friend. We’ve been talking on the phone every night since. It feels terrible to admit, but I think I’m starting to really fall for my sugar daddy’s friend. What should I do?
CHELSEA SAYS: If you’ve already started talking to this other guy every night, it sounds to me like you’ve already kind of made up your mind. If you’re in a relationship and you’re building feelings for someone else, then something is obviously not right in your current relationship. You need to figure out what the problem is and if it can be fixed. If it can’t be fixed, then you need to break up with your sugar daddy sooner rather than later, before things get even messier. The last thing you want to do is be the reason their business relationship and friendship is destroyed.
If you decide that you want to stay with your sugar daddy and work on your relationship, then you need to immediately stop talking to his friend, because it’s not at all appropriate, especially if it’s behind his back. You’re just going to create more trouble for yourself in the long run.
If you do decide to leave your sugar daddy and pursue the other guy, make sure it’s worth it because, in all honesty, it’s not going to be easy. Your sugar daddy probably isn’t going to be too open to the idea of you two hooking up, so ease into it. Give him some time to get over the break-up and don’t be malicious about it—try to end the relationship on good terms. Admitting to your sugar daddy that you’re in love with his best friend probably isn’t the way to go. Just tell him that you don’t think you’re as compatible together as you thought and that you want to be honest and not lead him on anymore. Don’t give him any reason to resent you or his friend. And, of course, if you’re going to break up with your sugar daddy for another guy, make sure the other is actually interested and isn’t just being nice to you because you’re his buddy’s girl.
TRENT SAYS: For starters, any relationship, whether it involves a sugar baby/sugar daddy or it runs along more traditional lines, takes work. Even when things are going smoothly, you have to make an effort. On top of that, chances are really good you’re going to go through life and meet older men you find more attractive and even wealthier than your sugar daddy. You need to decide whether or not your current arrangement is working for you. If not, move on. If so, then work on it. Otherwise, you’ll be forever chasing greener pastures.
That said, it sounds like you might be looking for a change of scenery. I say this because the traditional sugar daddy/sugar baby agreement has strict boundaries—once those boundaries are crossed, it generally means that you’re getting bored, and it’s probably best to just move on. And by that, I mean to someone other than your current sugar daddy’s business partner. Clearly, your sugar daddy and his business partner have issues. Why else would his partner (and friend) think it’s OK to talk to you every night behind your sugar daddy’s back? But that’s a totally different issue.
This is interesting, though, because it highlights one of the risks of being with a sugar daddy and vice versa. If he tires of you, he’ll dump you for someone else. At the same time, because of the nature of the relationship, you can just as easily leave him if you find an older man who you connect better with.
It may sound selfish, but you have to look out for yourself. And what I hear you inadvertently saying is that you think you’re worth a lot more. If you are, then you should have no problem finding another sugar daddy.