What Do You Do When Your Sugar Daddy Spends More Time Working Than With You?

QUESTION: I absolutely love being with a suc­cess­ful man! He’s a few years older than I am which is per­fect because he’s so much more mature than guys my own age. I think we’re so com­pat­i­ble because we have a lot in com­mon. Any­ways, I only have one com­plaint. He recently took on a new client at work and now I feel like he spends more time work­ing than he does with me. I know it might sound self­ish, but he’s can­celled on our plans three times this week. Of course, he always makes up for it one way or another. But it’s really start­ing to get to me. What should I do?

CHELSEA SAYS: It sounds to me like you’re start­ing to develop some seri­ous feel­ings for your suc­cess­ful man. If he was just “another guy” and noth­ing more, you prob­a­bly wouldn’t mind that he was work­ing so much.

First of all, your suc­cess­ful man may not even real­ize that he not being avail­able both­ers you so much, espe­cially if it was agreed upon at the start of your rela­tion­ship that things would be casual. The way he sees it—and the way you should try see­ing it too—is that even if he’s not around phys­i­cally, he’s still work­ing with you in mind, if that’s any consolation.

Believe me, I totally under­stand where you’re com­ing from and why you’re upset—I’m a woman too, I get it. But have you tried talk­ing to him about this? Like I said, he may not even real­ize there’s a prob­lem in your rela­tion­ship. If you do decide to speak up, which I really think you should if you’re that unhappy, don’t go into the con­ver­sa­tion expect­ing him to drop every­thing for you. As blunt as it sounds, he was attached to his work before he was attached to you. That being said, if your suc­cess­ful man really cares about you, he’ll find a way to make the extra time if he knows that it will make his lady happier.

One more thing, and I hate to bring this up, but it’s some­thing to think about. How much do you know about this new client of his? If it just hap­pens to be a young beau­ti­ful woman, you might want to do a lit­tle more dig­ging to make sure their meet­ings really are work related. But don’t jump to any con­clu­sions! Start by ask­ing him about this new client—make it sound like you’re just tak­ing an inter­est in his work.

TRENT SAYS: Sounds like some­one is falling hard for their suc­cess­ful man! I’m guess­ing that up until he got this new client, you and your man had some sort of arrange­ment or under­stand­ing of bound­aries that dic­tated things like how often you saw each other. Maybe it was open-ended and you show­ered each other with lim­it­less atten­tion and affec­tion. Or maybe it was just a cou­ple times or once a week. Regard­less, it sounds like it was work­ing for you, which is great.

And I under­stand why you would be dis­ap­pointed that he’s had to can­cel on you as well. This holds true for most rela­tion­ships I’d imagine—if you like some­one, you want to spend more time with them.

Being in a rela­tion­ship has its chal­lenges. One of those chal­lenges is the fact that it takes lots of work in and out­side of the rela­tion­ship to make it work. If you want to con­tinue to enjoy the ben­e­fits of hav­ing a suc­cess­ful man, that might mean you’ll have to sac­ri­fice some alone time with him.

You could tell your man that you’re dis­ap­pointed he’s per­sis­tently can­celling on you. This would show him that you like being with him because of who he is, not because of what he does or how much money he makes. At the same time, it’s impor­tant to remem­ber that he’s as suc­cess­ful as he is because of what he does. This means keep­ing clients and reel­ing in new ones. If it isn’t this client he’s got now, it will be another one down the line.