What Happened When I Tried to End My Affair with a Rich, Older Man: Part 1

My unfaith­ful actions almost destroyed my mar­riage. I can say with­out a doubt in my heart that if my hus­band had found out that I had cheated on him, he would have left me in the street with noth­ing. And I can’t say that I would blame him. After my close call, I ignored Derrick’s phone calls and texts for over a month. He only made a few attempts to con­tact me at first, but as the weeks passed, he began to con­tact me almost every day. He knew that if he tried hard enough, I would even­tu­ally give in. And he didn’t like being ignored.

I real­ized how unfair I was being to Der­rick. Besides, I needed to see him one last time to set things straight. I had to tell him that I could no longer have an affair. My heart was no longer invested with Der­rick. I real­ized, after I almost lost my hus­band, that I only lusted after Der­rick, and that my heart was with my hus­band. The gifts and sex had clouded my judg­ment once again. I had lost Josh, my old fiancé, who hap­pened to be an amaz­ing man, because of the lies related to Der­rick. I could not lose my hus­band too. I texted Der­rick with four sim­ple words: We need to talk.

I’m not sure why, but I met him at the same hotel we had been meet­ing at dur­ing the five months of our affair. I wasn’t in the mood to argue or change what was safe for us. When I got to the room, Der­rick was lay­ing in bed. Imme­di­ately, he asked me to lie next to him, but I could tell by his voice that some­thing was wrong. This was not about sex.

What’s wrong?” I asked. I hoped in my heart that he would say that we could no longer see each other. I was afraid that if I broke things off, I would even­tu­ally just call him back and try to arrange some­thing. My pas­sion for him was too strong. I knew that even­tu­ally I would break and try to see him again.

She filed for divorce,” said Derrick.

I was com­pletely and utterly thrown off. This changed everything…