What Happens When You Let Your Sugar Daddy Addiction Go Too Far

The pro­ce­dure to get rid of the baby was quick and when I walked out, Josh, my ex-fiancé was sit­ting in the wait­ing room read­ing a book. When he looked up and saw me, he smiled a somber smile. He grabbed my hand and walked me out­side. I sat on the bench and stared off into space. He didn’t say a word. I think he was giv­ing me the space he thought I needed. What he failed to real­ize was that I needed a distraction.

I quickly real­ized that Josh wasn’t the per­son I needed though. I needed my lover, Der­rick, but I knew that he was against me hav­ing this abor­tion. I would have to lie to him and then break things off for good. I could no longer keep liv­ing a life of lies.  I would end things with Der­rick and would have to fig­ure things out with my hus­band, Robert.

I thanked Josh and told him I would be call­ing a cab and that he was free to go. He said I didn’t need to call a cab and that he would drive me wher­ever I needed to go. I gave him Derrick’s address and hoped he wouldn’t fig­ure out where we were. As we turned the cor­ner to Derrick’s house, Josh sighed—he had fig­ured it out. When he parked, I opened the door and thanked him again.

In order for you to move on with your life, you have to move on from him. What does he have, Cas­san­dra? What does he have that I didn’t have and that your hus­band doesn’t have? What makes him so great, aside from all the money?” Josh sounded angry and dis­ap­pointed, all at once.

You don’t under­stand. I have to end things right and have clo­sure if I’m going to be able to move on with my life,” I said sternly.

You never answered me. What does he have?” he insisted.

I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. It’s just the con­nec­tion I have with him—” I was inter­rupted by Josh’s laugh.

Your con­nec­tion? If you had a real con­nec­tion you wouldn’t have killed his baby just now. You would have cho­sen to have that child and raise a fam­ily with him. What does he have that makes you keep going back? He’s a virus that’s ruin­ing your life and you can’t even see it. He destroyed our rela­tion­ship and now he is destroy­ing your marriage.”

I couldn’t hold back the tears. I slammed the car door shut and cried in the car. When Josh put his arms around me, I broke down even more. His words were exactly what I needed to hear. I wasn’t sure why I kept going back to Der­rick. There was noth­ing spe­cial about him and in all hon­esty, I was over him, but some­how, I always ended up at his front door. There was com­fort in his touch and a sense of famil­iar­ity that I just couldn’t let go of. How­ever, this time it would be dif­fer­ent. It had to be. I was going to be done with him. I was going to be done with this dou­ble life.

I promised Josh that it would be dif­fer­ent and his only reply was that I didn’t need to promise him any­thing. I needed to promise myself. When Josh drove off, it was time for the end to begin.